My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hi All,
Hope you don't mind me posting on this site, i have been reading all the posts. I lost my husband on the 13th of Dec after being diagnosed with lung cancer in the May. I also lost my mum (not to cancer) on the 24th of July, and my mum in law (not to cancer) on the 15th of Sept so that was the three within six months how i have survived i do not know, i have a son and daughter and a great sister and brother in law and also some good friends. It does help on the mc millan site as you find out you are not alone and nobody really knows what it is like unless going through the same thing. Thinking of you all
Take Care
Fiona x

Hi Everyone,
Just like to thank eveyone who has posted back to me, means a lot to me. I have had another restless night (don't sleep very well.) Well another Sunday and wondering what to do with myself, it's so hard when you were use to your other half being here all the time to being on your own. Not very bright here this morning so can't even get into garden. Sure my daughter and my son will pop in at some point to see me don't know what i would have done without them. Luv and Hugs to you all.
Fiona xxxxx

Hi everyone - Helen, Sue, Kev, Marrsy_2000 and Fiona. I am very relieved to come on here this evening - I really do get a lot of comfort coming on here and speaking with people who know what we are all feeling. My birthday was okay but I am really just glad to have come through it. It was lovely to see my eldest daughter and grandson but I think I planned too many things for the weekend. I changed my hairstyle on Saturday morning at the hairdressers and then worried that Chris wouldn't have liked the change. I went out with my daughters and a few friends for lunch and a drink on Saturday afternoon. I had a BBQ in my garden on Sunday afternoon and I went to the cemetry to speak to Chris on my birthday but then again on Sunday as well to take Becky and Declan and their Father's day cards from last week. The last person left just after 10pm last night and I was absolutely exhausted. I have cried everytime I have been on my own today - I miss Chris so much. Now I have written it all down I can clearly see that I tried far too hard this weekend and got no rest whatsoever. There's my problem. Anyway - enough of that. Only I can put this right and I sound like a right misery guts.
I'm glad you decided to join us Fiona. You have been through such a lot. I hope that we can be of some support. I think I had the opposite kind of Sunday to you but it didn't do me any good at all. Did your weather get any better yesterday? Our weather was poor yesterday morning but by the afternoon it was scorchio for my BBQ.
I didn't know Terminator began like that Kev. Did your son enjoy the film? I haven't been to the cinema for a long long time. Because of where Chris's cancer was he couldn't have sat through a whole film so we took to watching a lot on DVD instead. We could have our own breaks that way.
Your night out at your local sounds like it went okay Helen. Chris and I didn't go in our local very often which is probably why I didn't find it a great deal of comfort to go there last weekend. Chris was a singer so he often worked in other pubs and clubs at the weekend and we rarely went out locally. I loved going to watch him sing though so I don't mind. I think I will be fine next time I go as I know what to expect next time.
I think my post is a bit all over the place so I will give it a rest for now. Take care everyone. Ailsa xx