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Hi Bey I don't know what to say as words seem so futile. I am however thinking of you and sending huge big hugs your way for now.. Can you start to do things you enjoy at the weekends to make time go by quicker and for you to feel.less lonely? Thinking of you. Gail x

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Hi I lost my husband 13 May so 9 weeks tomorrow we all know what your suffering and feeling. It’s been awful I can’t lie. I have found help and support on here and it’s somewhere to come and talk say what you like, waffle on like a few of us admittedly do.  Before my husband died I would never have done this wouldn’t have needed to he would be saying what you doing talking to strangers!

I have in the last week started to make myself go for a walk occasionally but this hasn’t been easy. Shopping is so hard, cooking isn’t enjoyable. Someone said to me recently husband wouldn’t want to see me moping around, crying, staying in bed so I took a little of that on board. It’s not want I want either I seldom have a day without something getting to me it can be the tiniest of reminders or something silly ! Plus I’ve never cried so much.  

I took a clean shirt of his today from the wardrobe made a few enquiries locally and have taken it to be made into a memory cushion/pillow I specifically wanted the seamstress to keep the pocket on it as he liked a pocket on certain shirts. It went up a further £5 when I asked for that ! Don’t know what to expect but just did this on a whim ! 
Tonight I pulled my ukulele out I got in lockdown tuned it and then attempted to play some songs I used to on you tube with my husband cringing away in his chair fiddling on his iPad. This was probably a bad idea as I was playing with tears falling.

I also called a number up twice now for a local bereavement coffee meeting I saw in my docs on a poster  but each time it goes to answer phone. I don’t want to leave a message and it’s next week I don’t know whether just to turn up or what again another thing I’m having to think about know im alone hoping it may help I just wanted to hear a friendly voice and tell me about it.  I know I have to get a little hold on my life I’m trying.  
Do have a memorial service coming up that im going to at the hospice chapel I only had a direct funeral so this will hopefully help a little too??????????

Hi Bey!

Welcome to the forum although it is a place I am sure most of us don't want to be. Condolences to you on you loss. I am just 2 years in from losing my husband to bowel cancer and yes I still can't comprehend some days that he is gone. Yes the weekends are horrible aren't they? with you on that one at least during the week you can try to find things to do to keep you occupied.  We did so much together and now it's all gone. Feels weird when you go places on your own as well not that go out on my own that often now especially if it's somewhere where everyone is paired up and you feel like a `spare part` `third wheel` all the cliches that come with it. You just want your old life back but just know its not happening anytime soon. Just come here when you feel you need to we all `get it` all the others who regularly post here will be along soon to respond to your post I'm sure. We're a good bunch. Take Care and my best wishes to you moving forwards. 

Vicky 

Thankyou so much x

Thankyou I can agree with everything you have said x

Thankyou you for your reply x

You're Welcome