Why do I grieve, not for the past, because that was already past
I grieve for what we may have had together in the future
I grieve with racking sobs and immeasurable pain for the loss of him
I grieve because I know that this is not for today for it will last
beyond tomorrow, next week, next month and next year.
The overwhelming need to be with him, if only for a brief minute
frightens me, yet comforts me through my tears, because it means
That I have experienced the depth of love I did not believe existed
And for that I should remember to be grateful, but it still seems
As though there is no tomorrow for me any more, just today
To push myself through, for the sake of others and in memory of him
Not to sound self-pitying or boring others with my pain, so I paint on my face
And I face the world, but inside I feel nothing but emptiness and grief,
and with that word again, I grieve, and I scream to the sky, I want him back
The world is silent, the world we knew is no more, and I feel cast away
on a sea of loneliness, where there is no laughter, nor even fights, just silence
The silence made of grieving and loss.
Whilst others quite rightly gather back their lives and hold their loved ones even closer
I want him home, I want him back, I want to be with him
But in his name and for his memory’s sake I must go on, into a future alone
No one can help me, not family nor friends, for this is one battle I must face
To waken each day, look at the same spot on the ceiling and get on with trying to live
Without him.
You are truly at a very difficult stage that I remember all too well. Whilst planning Sharon's service I decided I would need some peace and quiet away from everyone. Therefore along with my brother
nd his partner I booked a very isolated cottage in mid Wales and we went there the day after the funeral. It was the best idea ever for me, it helped me so much to just go walking each day with the g, be emotional at any time and wasn't bothered by constant calls to ask "how are you" I mean what a question to ask 
My brother and his partner are my rocks, they both understand and allow for my emotions. Everyone knows that Sharon was my whole world and now it's gone.
If you have someone close maybe a short break may help you.
Take care and cry as much as you can, it will help, it is much worse if you hide it.
Keep going and be kind to yourself.
Best Wishes,
Paul x
I find it weirdly comforting to re- visit this poem. I’m 2 years 2 months on am still heartbroken. Today is our anniversary and I’ve spent 3 without him, impossible to believe. I keep busy but others just do not understand the loss of your true soulmate and friend. Last year would have been our golden anniversary so we were lucky to have had all those years together but when you are as one, it’s so hard when you’re left alone.
Be kind to yourselves, try to live life as they would want you to and take all the time you need to grieve, no one can take away the love you shared and heal 
Time for a BUMP of this amazing poem by diamondsgirl 
