I know ,once the denial and shock wears off ( although I still feel in shock ) and time passes ,we have to believe that we are never going to see them again.And I ask myself why did I let him go ? And then I think we've never let a dog of ours suffer the way he did. But that doesn't help at all. Yes, it's like someone is squeezing our hearts. The words Heart -broken really do describe it well. What I would give to have him back. I can't even bear to have my Hubby's photos out. I got lots copied for the family . And I have lots in files on my computer which keep popping up in memories ,and I just can't bear to look at them for long. There is a lovely one in a small golden frame of him in his Uniform when we were first married. We were so happy then. He had the cheekiest smile. This is so Bloody cruel. When my Mum tells me She still misses my Father .I think yes,but you had him 13 more years than I had my lovely Husband . And it's not fair . I just don't know what I'm gonna do without him.I sometimes think I've managed a day without crying when I'm trying to keep busy ,but then it will catch me on an evening ,often when I try to make a meal. It is exhausting
I hate the evenings, sitting alone watching tv, looking across to where he should still be sitting. I suppose we were lucky to love someone so much that we grieve for them this deeply, but that's no consolation, is it?
No,none at all. I've seen that some Widows / Widowers meet someone new ,but I don't think I could stand anyone else near me or Trust anyone else . I certainly would Not marry again. And if it ever happened and I don't think it will ,the thought of going through this excruciating pain makes me feel Sick. My Brother lost his Wife in 2024. And I think it was only 4 months later he was talking about other Women . I can't bear to listen to him. He makes my skin crawl. But to think at 68 I have to spend the rest of my Life without my Dear Hubby . I can't see much to look forward to. How depressing.
I don't like thinking about the future, it scares me too much. We thought we would grow old together. We retired by the sea, we both loved our home, now it just feels empty and sad. I think widowed men just look for a replacement, as if anyone would do. I will love my darling until the day I die, and nobody else could take his place. We used to say 'always and forever' and that's how it will be.
Me too, there will never be another. He was the only live of my life. Sadly we didnt even get any retirement together and in some ways that upsets me the most. I dont envy people will lots of retirement plans but it makes it hurt so much more when they talk about this cruise and that holiday. I doubt Ill ever do the things alone that we talked about, just dont have the will or confidence.
You never know . Things might improve in years to come . Huh ! We might hopefully be in a better place in our minds and thoughts / feelings etc. We might fill our time with something that comes close to Enjoyment . Travel a little with friends. There has to be something better than the painful Limbo we all feel in right now. Confidence goes out the window after all our hopes and dreams have been Shattered.
I'm 64 this year. and `looking for someone else` is the furthest thing from my mind. When you have spent 40 years with the same person that to me would feel like a betrayal. I can now `look` and `admire` but at my age I think that is as far as it will get. I'm starting to get used to my own company I always have been happy in my own company anyway. Yes I see this a lot in newspapers and media maybe women celebrities who have lost their partners/spouses within a year or two taking up with a new partner. Like you say Breton it's the thought of living out the rest of your days without your other half and sometimes fearing for the future. Take Care.
Same here Spirit. Some days I actually have to force myself to go places or do things but again the wise old owl that was my dad always had a saying (he had so many) `You just do what you have to do`.
Oh Wow! Spirit. `Always and Forever` that was our motto. That song was our first dance at our wedding and I had it played at Jay's funeral. I have one of those Nomination bracelets my son got me for Christmas one year and every year he buys me a little links to add to it and he got me one with `Always and Forever` on it not long after Jay passed. Yes the future scares me too what will become of me, what will my family do when I'm not here I know my son will be fine and he's his own man with his own family and has his head screwed on but he and his wife still look to me for certain things and then there is my sister she relies on me a lot and I worry if at times I can't be there for her. There were so many things Jay and I were going to do in our retirement but cancer took it all from us. Jay retired in 2019 and it wasn't long after that his health went downhill finally resulting in his cancer diagnosis. Fifty years constant he worked hardly a sick day off he retires, and then its a succession of hospitals, GPs and specialists- oh and covid. He just never got to enjoy his retirement at all.
