I've attended some online sessions with them and would recommend it. Its useful sometimes to have discussions in real time with people in a similar position. There's no pressure either.
Oh thanks PBD7, id not heard of the loss foundation before a couple of days ago and I have signed up for an line support for people over 50 losing a partner to cancer. I tried another one but it was full.
I hadn't either then I stumbled across it via the maggies website I think when I was looking for support in desperation thinking I have to try something.
I wanted to go to one tonight but it was full. I've attended a few different ones including some workshops. Sometimes you'll see familiar faces which is nice, some groups feel like a community. You can use them for what you need, to listen, rant, cry, ask questions. You can also connect with people if you so wish.
My dogs get upset when I start crying as well. They often leave the room. I feel bad cos ' it's so unsettling for them. I do try to go upstairs to cry. Often it can just come on when I'm cooking ..thinking I would/ should have been taking this meal to my dear Hubby instead of for me . It takes me time to eat it. I don't really want it myself. Yes ,they are so brave .Were . My sister said yesterday he wouldn't want me to be so upset. Well he knew I would be in a bad way as he would have been if it had been me gone first. How Bloody Horrible and Painful is this ?
It doesn't help to keep our feelings bottled up. I try when I'm out shopping or with my Sister ,but it builds up if I can't get some relief.Its my Mum's 94 th Birthday next week and the sisters and families are gathering .I've said I can't face going over. I can't do the small talk . I find it hard to hide how miserable I'm feeling . So I will go another time.
I get it. The grief can be so unpredictable. It can come in at any time. The amount of socialising I do, compared to the past, is minimal. I don’t want people’s pity, and I can’t be bothered to make the effort. I also get extremely tired, very quickly. I have done a food shop, wash and a few chores. I now need a nap. I just work around it, where I can. Kate.xxx
Exactly. I can just imagine them all giving me that look and looking at each other. And then asking me how I'm doing ...How do they think I'm doing? CRAP ! Not coping well at all. They all have their Husbands. Making plans . Going away together. It's awful but it makes me feel sick with Envy that I had to fall in love with the one who was always so ill. They have no idea at all what we went through. And the two younger ones didn't particularly care . I don't think I've achieved anything today . Two walks with the dogs this morning. Then drifting off to sleep sat in the armchair. Like an old Woman .Collected some plants from my lovely neighbour. Back out for the dogs 2nd walk. No inclination to make a meal. Bought enough food in, but no idea what I want to eat. How long am I going to be this Miserable ? That's all we can do Kate ,try push ourselves to do something. anything so that this is not another wasted day.
The constant ups and downs are exhausting, not that the ups are really very 'up'. Yesterday I had a dreadful day, couldn't stop crying. Today I've been much more in control. I struggle to deal with the mood swings, even on a better day I'm worrying what tomorrow will bring. And that sudden realisation that there is no going back, he really is gone, for always. It's like someone grips your heart and squeezes hard. I look at his photo and it seems impossible.
