Saw this today and felt I needed to hear this, actually made me cry, so sharing for anyone who needs to hear this too...
You need to give yourself more grace.
I know you're being hard on yourself. I know you're judging every breakdown, every canceled plan, every moment you're "not handling it well."
I know you're comparing yourself to who you were before. And you're disappointed that you're not that person anymore.
But you need to stop.
Because what you're going through requires grace. So much grace.
Grace for the days you can't get out of bed. Grace for the times you snap at people who don't deserve it. Grace for forgetting things, for being late, for not following through.
Grace for crying in public. For avoiding places that remind you of them. For not being able to handle things you used to handle easily.
Grace for the fact that some days, just surviving is all you can manage.
You're carrying an impossible weight. You're living through the worst thing that's ever happened to you. You're trying to function in a world that doesn't make sense anymore.
And you're doing it. Badly, maybe. Messily, definitely. But you're doing it.
That deserves grace.
You wouldn't expect someone with a broken leg to run a marathon. You wouldn't judge someone recovering from surgery for needing time to heal.
So why are you judging yourself for struggling with grief?
Grief is an injury. A deep, devastating wound that doesn't heal on anyone else's timeline. And you need to treat yourself like someone who's been hurt.
With gentleness. With patience. With grace.
Stop holding yourself to impossible standards. Stop comparing grief-you to before-you. Stop expecting yourself to function like you did when your world was intact.
You're not the same. And that's okay.
Give yourself permission to be different. To be struggling. To be a work in progress.
Give yourself permission to not be okay.
And when you mess up—when you cancel plans, when you forget things, when you can't handle what you used to handle—give yourself grace.
Not because you're weak. Not because you're failing.
But because you're human. And you're grieving. And that's hard enough without adding self-judgment on top of it.
So be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself. Be gentle with yourself.
Give yourself the grace you'd give anyone else going through what you're going through.
You deserve it.
Even on the days you don't feel like you do.
Especially on those days.
Written by: Aimee Suyko - In Their Footsteps
#loss #death #grief #grieving #griefsupport #griefjourney
Oh Kate, you must be drained.
I have cancelled going out with my sister on Friday as I have so much going on and had a full weekend. I know that by Friday I will not be company.
Thing is, I just have to keep busy. Keep doing anything. The more I am occupied, the less time I have to think. The less time I stop and see the empty space next to me.
Which is why I generally only get to bed 1 or 2 am.
But I know I get so exhausted with the poor sleeping and energy exerted, both physically and mentally, that every couple of weeks I have to just stop and regroup.
I’ll be thinking of you and Paul 
️
I think that will do you good to get away for a bit. It is an effort with the exhaustion to do it, however, it can help. My darling’s Birthday is tomorrow, so I will visit him for a chat. I had a three hour siesta, which really helped. I have just done supper for our adult children. I try and produce a home made meal every day. I used the lopers in the garden today, to cut back the apple tree. Also, I pruned back a neighbours overgrown bush. I stood on a stall to reach the higher bits. 
I also played with our border collie. A good day. I will read to help with sleep later. Kate.xxx
As we were getting ready to move we had to go through all the paperwork. As I was quite shut down and feeling numb with the shock ,the paperwork had to be sorted out. And it was pointless to bring here with me. And while in that state it was a bit easier. Same with the clothes,although some have come here ,and I've given most
but not all to charity. It's really upsetting seeing his things when I go through the boxes. I was always taking photos of him. I wish we had more of us together + him and our sons and the rest of the family. Missed opportunities with Grandchildren on a holiday to Centre Parks 3 years ago. I don't like big groups either . And neither do I have the income to spend on something I know is going to be too overwhelming for me.
