So sick and tired of this

And what about concocting a soup if you can force yourself to. Don't mean to be bossy, just caring X

Your not being bossy

Actually I am eating a little better this last week. 
My nearly 90yr old mum had a fall last Friday and fractured a bone in her pelvis. 
She’s in incredible pain when she tries to weight bear and I have become her carer until my sister and I can get someone in place, especially as I am off to my brother in Wales for 2 weeks soon to be with him and his wife over the time of Valen’s passing.

So I am making mums lunch and supper. Just sandwich at lunch, but healthy. 
And supper, though she has little appetite, I am tempting her with some local home made quiches, pies, fish etc with fresh veg. And making enough for my little appetite so I can sit and eat with he. 

I just need to keep this up at home. 
Though hopefully, what with eating with mum and then proper meals in Wales, it will become more of a habit to eat properly.

xx

I am happy to read this.

MrsVT, 

i understand completely Matthew was the chef in this house and could always make something to tempt me no matter how I was feeling. I don’t have his recipes as he never made a dish the same way twice but I do have some of his curry and stews in the freezer just can’t bare to eat them just go in to the freezer and stroke them sometimes like a crazy woman!

Try making a simple meal just for him, that would bring him so much joy and I strongly believe they are still there somewhere watching over us, I have to it’s the only thing that keeps me going. 

Remember any win is a win no matter how small and it’s one of the ways we can honour them. 

Thinking of you and sending strength as this horrendous anniversary approaches 

xx 

This crazy woman keeps moving the soup maker closer to the cupboard to put away but I cry every time I pick it up. 
I made bangers and mash (with double cream) for mum and I tonight. With gravy. We both enjoyed it. So good for both of us!

My sister told me to slow down today. But I have to keep busy. If I stop I think to much. 
I know I’m extra fragile right now. 
What with not sleeping, caring for mum. Everyday day taking we inevitably to the 26th. Every day living the day a year ago.

Today when I got home I flung stuff from my bag on the sofa as I always do. 
My beautiful Valen’s 2 photos, which I carry in my bag so he goes everywhere with me, fell out with stuff on top of them. 
Crazy me cried out “I’m so sorry, are you ok?” and cried for nearly an hour. 

Ok now. Watching Midsomer Murders.

Your hubby sounds like mine was MrsEd. He loved cooking it was his passion and was always making huge platefuls of food- enough to feed an army even though it was only us two at the end after our son moved out. He would spend ages making something and then present this big plateful which would be far too much but you would try to eat it for his sake and sometimes he would even get offended if you left any thinking you didn't like it when in actual case you were just `stuffed` at the amount he had made. He would be calling me for everything now because of the littlest portions I eat now. Even when he was here and I would say I didn't want a lot to eat and make myself something he would protest that I wasn't eating enough. One good thing to come of it though is that my waistline is benefitting now although he made loads whatever it was was always delicious and just couldn't help but eat it well most of what you could.

Vicky x

Ahh Midsomer Murders, the programme I put on when Sue went. It's my background noise.  I don't know why.

And I agree. I have to believe my darling Valen is watching over me. Over those he truely loves and cares for. 
Guiding me. Listening to me. Worrying over me. 
I have to believe it to keep me going as well. 

I think so too MrsVT 

You just believe that they are.

xx

Yep, good old Midsumer. 
Watched every episode at least 100 times each.

OK. That may be a slight exaggeration. Slight. 
I love how actors turn up more than once as different people.  
Neil Dudgeon anyone

I find that because I know them they are easy watching. I can zone out, come back and still know what’s going on.