Ranty rant rant!

It certainly does seem like a bad day sorry to hear that hope you got to sleep finally. I don’t like asking for help but sometimes you have to and as everyone did say to us when we lost our loved ones if you need anything I’m here don’t hesitate to ask…!!!

Everything sometimes no matter how trivial just all escalating into something that is so hard for us to deal with without the love and support we used to have and  they always used to make everything ok again. 

Will you start your jigsaw again? 

Thank you Toosoon,

I think all of us here understand how things escalate. What is in reality something that can, probably, be easily sorted, becomes insurmountable when our loves are not here to do / help.

I got some sleep. Decided not to say anything today. I’m off to Wales in the morning for 10 days and it can wait till I get back. 
Let it go for the moment.

And I restarted the jigsaw. At least the pieces are all mixed up again

MrsVT

i know how you feel this morning raining hard knowing I had to take Simon's dog on his walk just thought I would put coat on not bother washing or hair went to loo came down dog had been sick on carpet opened back door he ran out in rain digging in garden had direhea ran in with mud I just burst into tears went on walk soaked came back muddy dog then I remembered I used to have heating on for Simon with warm dry clothes on radiator waiting for him and towel and hot drink I was soaked sat on floor and just cried no one here for me x

I am so sorry you are having such a difficult day. Sometimes, it all just gets too much. Sending  huge hugs. Kate. Xxx

• Thankyou it's  lonely  isn't  it now the weather  has changed I'm finding  it hard being  in garden  kept me busy  and must admit I promised  Simon  I would look after his baby his dog but it's  really hard a 2 year old cockapoo  he is like a puppy and he just doesn't  even let me go for a wee he was Simons  and he was amazing  they adored  each other today I am thinking  it would be easier  for me to grieve  on my own good in summer not wet days when I feel ill x

Our friend’s have got a cockapoo, and he is full on. Basically, a bit nutty. Is there anyone who could take him out for a bit, to give you a break ? We have a border collie, and he has to go into the car boot for a bit sometimes, to give me a break. Then I lay on the bed, and pass out with exhaustion. Even half an hour can make a difference. 

Bless you he is nutty indeed I only agreed to a dog if we got a lap dog but oh no Simon fell in love with Hugo My daughter has him Sunday while I have lunch with them and always offers if I am not coping but bless her she works and has children so just me but Yeah if I go upstairs he follows I can leave him for a hour but no longer when I food shop but it worst then having children. They say he will get me out of bed great when sunny but I really resented him today when I felt rubbish but I will keep to my promise just have no confidence like simon. Now I feel guilty even saying that sorry Simon just a bad day not sure if I'm good at anything without him he was amazing at everything.

I'm with you on that MrsVT. Jay was never a technical expert and always left it to me to do those things. I can set up the freeview box/firestick etc ok but just now and again something like that will happen and I get really frustrated and get all panicky if the thing won't work. I still have my SKY but its just the basic of basic package and I have the multi room service. Shot up in price and I went on to tell them I was thinking of doing away with it and `hey presto`! they came up with a reduced price for me for 24 months.  My spare room Jay and I made into a wee sitting room when William moved out so I have a bed settee in there and when my sister stays over she goes in there watches all the programmes she watches and I watch mine in the living room. I have the TV in my bedroom as well that is when Myla comes though she sleeps in my bed so I put the TV on for her when she comes over as well I put Youtube on for her to watch all her programmes on that. 

Our men were not saint’s. Mine could be right pain in the backside. He had OCD, and didn’t like being out of his routine. He hated supermarkets, any type of crowd, going on a different bus route or anything that wasn’t pre agreed. Luckily, I am the opposite, so it worked. The confidence will come, but it will take time. Kate. Xxx

Days I could just see `Jack` far enough just now. Sometimes it just takes all my energy to walk him. He was Jays dog and he's a great little companion for me. He's a Border Terrier and a cheeky wee besom at that. When I got out he knows how to play the guilt card and looks up at you and gives the `big eyes` and `head tilt` as if you say `you going out again`? but he knows I'm coming back. He sleeps on the bed with me now has done so since Jay passed its just like a natural thing. I have to lift him up now though he's almost 12 years old and his little legs I don't think are that strong now. My bed is quite high so he can't jump as high as he used to he still can jump up but anything that is lower down. I'd be lost without him though.