Are you ok, how you doing?

You're lucky to have your children. 

We never had any, which is not a problem. We got together later in life and decided not to.

We have 2 cats lol, not comparing them to children lol.

I have my own beauty business, just me, but I have lovely clients and now will need the money. So that helps me get through the day.

I come home and it's just like it was when my husband was in hospital after I visited him....... but no more text messages from him, checking I'm ok or sending me goodnight messages....... and I've upset myself just writing that 

I am so sorry you are suffering. No one can understand how difficult it is. I try to balance the pain with the beauty. Reading helps sometimes, and I have got a cuddly for bedtime. This makes me feel better at night. Sending you huge hugs and cuddles. Kate.

I'm going to have a memory bear made out of some of my husbands clothes and have that next to me in bed.

Love and hugs xx

What a lovely idea. I have been wearing a lot of my husband's clothes - am wearing his favourite jumper right now. Sending hugs xxx

Me too. Sometimes I wear it to bed. It is really comforting. Sending cuddles for us all.

Hi 

I'm 3 months in and know exactly what you mean.  People ask but really just want you to say I'm ok, my general reply is "Good days and bad days" when in reality they are all bad days.  It really hurts and its so hard, I seem to cope by keeping busy but feel I am just existing day to day, hoping it will get easier.

We are all here for you, sometimes it helps just knowing that you are not alone and there are others out there who know exactly what you are going through.

Love and hugs xx

I wear some of my husbands T Shirts they are long and baggy (he was a big bloke) and they do for pyjama tops etc. Some I have given away or sold online. He was never fashion conscious and I would buy him clothes that would just lie in the wardrobe with the tags still attached so I decided to sell those on as they were brand new and he had never worn them. It's parting with the things that he has worn which is harder though things I have seen him wearing so I have just taken to wearing some of them  mainly the T-Shirts - good job we are in an age now of `unisex clothing`. He did say to me before he passed just to do `whatever` with his clothes. Yes the `how are you's` and `are you ok's` tend to wane a bit after a while and the phone stops ringing and people just go back to their normal lives but for you it's a `new normal`. People see you out and about and so assume you are ok but sometimes that is not always the case. Fifteen months in almost I am still having weeks where I don't want to go out /get out of bed/ see people. I call them my `stuck weeks` or f**k it weeks. I have a little dog so he is my reason for getting out of bed in the morning as he needs walked and fed. Were it not for him I would maybe tend to lie in bed most of the day. He is my little companion now. I have rejoined at my local sports centre I go to the gym a couple of times a week but not when it's a f**k it week hoping these will get less though as time goes on. Jay (my late husband) and I used to go to they gym together and played badminton a couple of times a week so it took me a while to actually pluck up the courage to go back and what I welcome I got from the girls on the reception desk. One said to me `right you've did the hard part and got through the door` lets get you signed up now. It just takes time I suppose we all move forward at a different pace. I wish you all well in doing so. Take Care. 

Vicky xx

I absolutely love the ‘F…k it’ weeks.That is genius. I have had a better day today. I went back to bed for an extra three hours sleep, and that seemed to help with my energy levels. I met up with a close friend and her son, for a light lunch today. Did a weekly shop, fed the dog, hoovered. Now, I am enjoying a lovely G & T. ‘F…. It’. Love and cuddles to all. Xxx

Yes Kate

Love a wee G & T myself but only at the weekends. Yeah why not go back to bed if you feel like it? I do. There's nobody here to say I can or can't but then at night it takes me longer to get to sleep. Still wake up in the mornings and feel it weird that Jay is not there some days I  still just can't comprehend it. We were together for 40 years so it does take time to adjust but during these last 15 months I feel I have made little achievements on my own. He battled his bowel cancer for almost 2 years at one time going into remission but it came back for him and decided that it wasn't leaving without him a 2nd time. Before he passed I was really desperate and just couldn't see a way forward without him. He said to my that I was stronger than I knew but at the time I wouldn't believe it but as I said I have seen myself actually being able to do things without him even the `man things` as I call them that he used to take charge of managed to paint a whole garden fence on my own and was quite pleased with the outcome and one of my neighbours seen it and asked if I did it all on my own and when I said yes she said `oh you can come and do mine then mine needs done too` I jokingly told her `where she could go` and I've got the car through 2 MOTs without being ripped off which I was always scared of with being a female. Luckily the guy who Jay took the car too was very trustworthy and didn't `add bits on` just to bump the bill up a bit if it needed anything done he would tell you when I told him who I was he said oh you're big Jay's wife yes no bother bring it in so maybe there was some truth in what he said he always told me I was the `brains` of our outfit. Try work out routines for the day with regards to housework etc but sometimes they don't work so that's another f**k it. I'll get there eventually. Take Care.

Vicky x

I hope I will be as brave as you brave as you.

Everything seems daunting at the moment.

I came home from work today and just felt sad as soon as I came through the door..... I was ok at work. 

And now I stop crying on and off, I don't know why

Sorry, i had hoped writing would help me, but not this evening. 

No need to reply to this, just saying how I feel .

Live and hugs xx