So sorry ....

Hi Wildcat isn't there something where if you opted out of SERPS, as we were encouraged to in the 80's, then there could be lump sum payable to the surviving partner if one died before retirement age?

I'm not completely sure about that. 

Hi wildcat Are you a 'tax knowledge person?'

I've sent you a friend request on here. I hope that's OK I have something I want to you see and maybe put me right

Its 20 months for me now dealing with this,people have been grieving forever but I'm stunned how this is just as taboo a subject as anything else why ? this is the one thing that happens to all of us in some way,there should be far more support for bereavement, i know its part of life but I'm a tough lady or I thought I was, if nothing else give people who are grieving some financial breathing space,because we didn't put ourselves in this situation not by being irresponsible it was just bad luck but it counts for nothing your still held accountable for your circumstances.

Jayne 64,

I completely agree with you about support. I too don't see myself as 'stupid' and walked away from a 'professional' job at the time. People, it seems, just don't want to take our situation into consideration. It's also that we have to find out what we are entitled to rather than be advised.

I've actually taken to say to those I know that the only way they'll understand is if/when it happens to them when they ask how I am or say how well I'm doing. To a very close friend, I've said you want to go first so you don't want to to go through this. I felt awful, just awful, when I said it. 

There should simply be more support without this 'we should know' culture.

Take care,

WDJ

Exactly if nothing else just advised me guide me,there's no one out there even the cab have no advisors available, you can't actually talk to anyone anymore,it all predictive live chats for any of your needs if you haven't had to do this lately consider yourself privileged 

It makes me fear that the whole situation we find ourselves in is a shambles!

Well you know what they say,if it doesn't kill you it will make you stronger I certainly hope so because I feel terrible, I really need to relax.

Good luck to you all just know your not alone x

No I'm no tax expert  by any stretch of the imagination. I just have gained a little knowledge over time. 

The diagnosis of terminal gallbladder cancer has not been officially done yet. But I know from a miriade of signs, symptoms and suspicions that it is coming. Later today or tomorrow.  Or if the consultant is busy maybe even next week. Agonising wait, where I need to prepare my soul mate and daughter   without plunging them in to despair.  Trying to keep as positive as I can, for their sake. I have noticed this several times: the person dying of cancer frequently has to console those who remain. And belive me: it is hard. I wish humans were a little more like dogs: yes  they mourn, they suffer. But then they get on with life.

I wish all of you who have lost a life companion to find peace.