First anniversary looming

I agree 100%. I no longer have any interest in going on holiday - because holidays were about the time we spent together. I can’t see the point of going on my own. I also fill my time doing things with friends and family but all the time I’m thinking that i just want to share it with Dave 

Jillybean,

Truth is, there is little I/we would have done differently. Yes, I made mistakes but they were not intentional. The greatest compliment I could have been given I was. We moved to an area which made my wife feel as if she had returned 'home' after many, many years. I will always remember that.

WDJ

Hello Jillybean 

Have been following your posts. How are you? Is it today or tomorrow the anniversary? Just hoping you are ok.

Reach out and tell us?

I am just 4 months down the line and struggling, and panicking about what to do for Christmas? No family here.

Living in France, and at home here, but shall probably just want to be on my own too.

Big hugs 

Interesting that you mention Christmas Fifnet. I too am dreading this one - not that I ever was full of the joy!

Family have already asked but I'm simply not interested. They mean well, but I fear it's going to be dreadful. I'll put the tree up, which will be ironic as all these years I always said I wouldn't even bother with that if I got my way!

WDJ

Hi. I’ve managed to keep myself very occupied today throwing my three year old granddaughter a mermaid party. But now they have all left I’m reliving this time last year. The Last few hours. Technically the anniversary is early hours of tomorrow morning. I’ve had loads of offers of things to do tomorrow but all I want to do is go for a walk with our dog to somewhere we would have walked together and reflect on the wonderful times we had. Yes there will be lots of tears but hopefully then I can remember the happy times. And then tomorrow evening I’m going to have KFC which was Daves favourite (not mine but never mind) 

It was my first year anniversary few weeks ago,its strange the anticipation and expectation of what we expect to feel such a build up,but I felt very calm the realisation of what has happened to me to us and the fact I can't change anything I'm in this situation only I can sort this and take myself forward x

absolutely agree with you.  I dreaded the 1 year anniversary but on that day I was OK.  Was sad that none of his family reached out to my daughter to check she was OK, maybe I was expecting too much? 

I still can’t picture Rob in my mind apart from the last 3 Weeks, i think about holidays but he is just a blur in my memory.  I had hoped it would have gone by now and i would be able to picture him clearly but sadly not.  Anybody else have that?

Yes I understand you Chelseabluegirl, I to struggle to picture my darling Sharon beyond the last few weeks. She was such a beautiful person inside and out and always took great care of her appearance. It makes me feel so bad and sad that I cannot picture her in the good times. On Monday it will be 12 months and now I feel I miss her more than ever, this past week or so I know I’ve gone backwards in my grief as I no longer have any desire to be sociable. I just want to curl up at home and hide away with my overwhelming sadness !

Take care

Paul x

I'm so glad you mentioned this feeling,because I feel like my life with mark was a dream,but we were together nearly 30 years I don't understand what this means,I too only see him as he was in the end,I don't like it hope it's just a phase .

Hi everyone. Well I lived to tell the tale. I did find the anniversary really hard. I visited the memorial garden where there a a plaque for Dave - and I sobbed buckets. I had said that I wanted to spend the day alone but after the garden I drove straight to my mums - and sobbed some more. Asked my son and daughter in law to come over to have kfc with me as I couldn’t face eating it on my own. 
I didn’t get the calm feeling but I think maybe it’s because I keep myself too busy normally - so that when I do stop I crumble. 
I have to say that in a way I am lucky though - although I have images in my head (of Dave in that last week ) the ones that spring to kind are from the bette times. I have put up quite a lot of photos around the house - something which Dave would hate because he hated photos of himself - but I find them comforting and I even have a chat with them sometimes.