Lost my wife

Hello Andrew, I really know how awful it is, the only sound at the moment is the birds cheeping outside, still have the windows open, usually is completely quiet, which is why I watch so much TV, I often talk to Linda about something in a program, she would find amusing or disturbing. You need to fill the silence with sounds, TV Music, Xbox etc. or distract yourself, so you don’t notice it. I have hundreds of family photos to scan and put on disks, but although I made a start, I find it uncomfortable at the moment, too many memories. Today, I was proud of myself, I went swimming, & had my subway lunch, been on my todo list for months and months, didn’t immediately feel less anxious, but once back home I did feel a little easier. So decided to put some audio books & music ( inc meditative music) onto my iPod, so I can have an alternative to Netflix. I truly know how painful this is, now I am at 10 months, I’m crying a lot less, still weepy sometimes, but feel able to manage basic stuff, where in the first month or two, I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything or care about anything. So honestly it does ease, but only that you’ll be more capable of managing, I’m not sure if the emotions and pain of loss completely go away ever, it’s the price of love. Even in the swimming pool, I was reminiscing about Linda choosing the Christmas songs for our Christmas album, used to put the iPod on every Christmas and only play Christmas songs. We did a big overhaul of the songs in 2019, as there were many doubles and ones we didn’t like, so Christmas 2020, had our new revised collection, unfortunately that was the last year Linda would hear this. I couldn’t manage listening to it Christmas 2021, but maybe next Christmas I’ll be able to manage.

just don’t rush things, give yourself plenty of time and space, to decide what’s right for you, I’m going to try the old radio shows I listened to as a kid, the Clitheroe kid, the navy lark, also I think there was sorry I’ll read that again.

take care of you & PM me anything you want a personal chat

Today is the first day by myself  and no family around me  I've texted ,rang my mother to talk to her she is nearly 90yrs the funeral service was so lovely  it was a humorist  service and  at the after do it was packed she was well liked at work and even a lot of the neighbours came to she is guna be missed so much by everyone ️ 

Hello Andrew

You will manage, I really didn’t think I could, thought life was impossible without my Linda, but, life does go on. It’s not a reality I ever wanted to be in, even when Linda was in the last stages, I couldn’t even contemplate life without her, so much so, I didn’t give it any consideration. No one wants to think that what they know is going to happen is inevitable. We convince ourselves that somehow life will simply continue on. Maybe that’s why it hits us so hard. ‍

thinking of you ️

Hello Andrew, so sorry you have had to join our community. It can be very lonely but, like ArthurD, I do play some music (mostly 70's rock/progrock) and also listen to the radio a lot as it feels that there is someone else in the house with me. it is now 6 months since my Lin left me and I have recently started to play some of her music such as T Rex and Take That. We went to Take That concerts and by playing their music I feel she is with me somehow, not that she has really left me as I think about her a lot, and I remember how happy she was at these concerts. It will be a slow process getting used to our loved ones not being at our side any more but I feel I am making small steps in moving forward. One thing I will say is don't be afraid to share how you feel, whether with friends, family or even a counsellor. I have been having counselling and have found it a great help.

And, most importantly, do things when you are ready. Don't rush anything.

My thoughts are with you and stay strong.

Derek

Thanks very my wife liked take that we went to see them in middlesbrough when we're visiting family I did enjoy it 

Today I needed to clear my head so I went out for a run so I will be ready to go to work tomorrow it helped a little bit and I played some George Michael music for an hour one of my wife's favourite artists, we had got tickets to see dara obiren and coldplay but now she won't get to them , she loved to go go shows in the west end her favourite was les missnd loads more to mention 

Hello Andrew, make sure you’re not going back to work too soon, it helps some, others it does not, just be careful and take things slowly.

thinking of you

Today I went back to work it was a bit difficult to walk to work ,when i got to the main gate I nearly turned around and went home but I didn't and work was ok ,but when j got home I said I'm home dear and there was no reply so that hit me like a brick wall ,also just got the council tax  bill  which I wasn't  expecting to get it should have gone to my stepdaughter and I started to cry a bit ,my work colleagues were very understanding about everything  which I appreciated 

I went back to work 7 weeks after Colin died. It was in lockdown so the shop wasn't very busy and I went back on reduced hours and now 2 years later only do 5 hours 3 days a week. I had been on sick leave to care for him at home for about 6 months previous. You still have lots to 'sort out' I imagine, so hope you do a phased return to ease yourself in gently. It's weird how the feeling of speaking to different colleagues is more difficult and emotional than others   Work is a good focus/routine and depending on your job you can switch heads over then go home. I still shout through 'Hi Honey, I'm home' then come into the living room and stroke his face in the frame and say 'I love you honey'  

There's nothing wrong with shedding tears - it's a natural reaction to what is happening with you at the moment. those who have been 'there' will understand that - for those who don't, they're lucky not to. 

I'm back at for 3 days week then 5 next week and then it's the bank holiday so at work for 3 days one of my work colleagues  has been been there he lost his wife over 5 years ago  and he still misses her , in my job I most of the time work by my self at the moment I'm doing lite work because I have done my lower back in