Lost my wife

The funeral was lovely affair she would have been very happy that there were a lot of people from her work ,friends and neighbours that came ghat came to send her off ,it's the first day that I'm guna be without her but I know that she I us guna be with me everyday and night un my heart and my head love her so much miss her loads xxxx

Bless you and that is something that no one can take away from you x. I do get a sense of peace when l think and feel that Pete is with me x.  I hope that you will as well.

This is exactly how I feel. I’d rather be alone, even though it’s a long day. I don’t have to pretend I’m ok if I’m not. I can chat to him and look at photos when I want to. I’ll do things in my own time until I have to go back to work at the end of the month. I feel people are expecting me to act as if nothing has happened  now and I don’t want to bore them with my woes. It’s good to come on here and share with those who have experienced the same. Xx

Hi,

I also enjoy some me time, and it is easy to do so when you’re on your own. However Sharon and I did do most things together and revelled in each other’s company. I think as we met late in life (November 2015) both in our late 50’s, we both wanted to enjoy our time together as much as we could. Of course we both enjoyed spending time with our old friends doing different things, but the excitement of heading home back to your one true love was wonderful every time we had been apart if only for a short while. I am blessed with an older brother who basically moved in for a few weeks and still sees me at least once a week and occasionally stays over. He has been incredibly patient and over time has encouraged me to go out, with him and his partner, for dinner, walks, gardening, etc… it was tough at first going to restaurants Sharon and I enjoyed together, but eventually I became comfortable with it. I still miss having Sharon by my side in a nice restaurant, but no longer get over emotional and sit there head down weeping.

Thankfully we never used online shopping and so I continued to shop in person, I can’t say I enjoy it but it gets me out it’s surprising how many gents you see shopping alone and for one. It helps to just see others are in the same position for whatever reason. Slowly I am rebuilding a bit of a social life, but this is with my brother and close friends who also knew Sharon and don’t mind me talking about her and occasionally getting emotional. Sharon’s best friend promised her she would “keep an eye on me” at Sharon’s request, and so we meet every couple of weeks to walk our Yorkies together, or in a cafe for a chat. My best mate and I enjoy trips to the cinema and always go for a meal beforehand. What I find is important socially is being with people who understand the challenges you are facing without your loved one, and that this can grab you at any time and totally unexpectedly. Still I can be in a restaurant and a piece of music comes on that immediately reminds me of Sharon, then the tears start and my head goes down, but those I’m with fully understand this and I don’t feel uncomfortable at all.

We are all different of course, and still on odd days I get up and think “sod it” I don’t want to see anyone and could easily curl up in bed and let the world pass me by. My psychologist explained that at such times to clear my mind completely and then ask myself “is this what Sharon would want me to do”? The answer is always the same, no way Sharon would want me to enjoy the life I have to the best of my ability.

Take care all, stay strong.

Best Wishes, Paul

Hello Andrew

Your Wife will always be with you, cherish the memories and love she gave you, in your heart she will live forever ️.

take good care of you

I will cherish everything we did and I have loads of memories 

Hello Andrew
Your shared memories are so important, thinking of you, have sent a friend request, if you feel the need to talk via PM, feel free to do so ️

The family have al gone now it's so quiet without them and grandkids making so much noise I miss ghem already 

The silence is awful, I know. When I have visitors, which isn’t very often, the home is filled with chatter, but the silence that follows when they leave is terrible. Are you able to listen to some music, maybe meditative, or an audio book maybe. I am going to put some audio books on my iPod and try listening to them, although I generally have fallen asleep in the past. I watch a lot of Netflix, but that sometimes makes me more anxious. It’s finding what’s right for you, look after you.

P.S. if you add your follow ups to the original post, it wil be easier for others to follow you.

keep safe and well

keith

How do you cope with loneliness  and the quietness in the house