I lost my just over week ago to cancer she had terminal cancer she was having treatment for it but it spread I'm coping with it at the moment her funeral is next Saturday I now it's guna hit me on that day and after when I'm at home by myself and not having her around me
Hi Andrew, I’m further down the line, it will be 7 months on 17th since I lost my one true love Sharon. There’s no point trying to tell you it will be ok, it won’t and not for a lng time ! Whilst I don’t get emotional as often I still have many “moments”! I was very fortunate in that my older brother moved in the night I lost Sharon and stayed for about 6 weeks, without him I dread to think what i may have done. The day after the funeral (was very traumatic for me) my brother, his partner and I went away to a remote cottage in Wales. It was really helpful because I couldn’t handle the concept of people chasing me constantly to check i was ok. I still see my psychologist every 2 weeks which helps massively, I’d recommend counselling to anyone in our position, he explained to me you never recover from such a loss but it is a case of learning to adapt to a new way of life. Slowly that’s what im doing but it’s very difficult. I miss Sharon more each day and talk to her very often, her cremains are in an urn next to me on coffee table, I also have pocket sized urn I can carry with me, as well as a ring contains her ashes that I wear everyday. Using this forum has helped me greatly, you can be completely open about your feelings etc… and everyone gets it, far more than perhaps family and friends may do.
Hopefully you have an understanding employer who will appreciate the challenges you face. I would suggest you sit down with your manager & HR to ensure they understand you will not be at your best all the time, and you’re likely to need regular time outs to help with your emotions.
I can also recommend a book called “On Grief and Grieving” by Elizabeth Kubler Ross, it covers all the stages of grief you will experience and provides explanations why and advice that can help you.
Hope all goes well with the funeral, and as carpetbagger says Be kind to yourself, this is very important, also never hide your emotions it only makes things worse. Finally I found there’s a fine line between isolation and socialisation, do all you can to avoid the former.
Best Wishes, Paul 
Hello Andrew
the quietness is awful, with nothing to distract you, your mind wanders. If you can manage it, try some music, relaxation music maybe. I spend far too much time playing iPad games and watching Netflix, but it helps keep me sane.
thinking of you, take care
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
Sorry for your loss
. It also has been 7 months on the 17th June that my husband Pete, has been gone. My home is very quiet. Maybe l am weird but when Pete passed and after the funeral l just wanted to be alone. I had no visitors apart from my sons and their wives my choice . I did not want to see people and still don`t. I am not saying that the quietness is always good, but for me l can be just what l want to be. But then again l never really went out either unless it was with Pete. I think just be how you want to be, although we are all suffering unbearable loss, we all handle things differently. All the best for your wife's funeral.
Hello
I value my quiet ‘Me time’ when I can relax, not get dressed, do whatever I want to do. But I also have a strong need for company, I miss the interaction of other people, I can go 2-3 days without speaking to a soul, that can’t be good for me. I was reading on Facebook about how an elderly gent refused to use technology for banking etc, or have his shopping delivered, he said he enjoys going out and meeting people, which is exactly what I’m not doing. I have everything delivered and only go out if I can’t avoid it, maybe need to rethink that a little.
take care of you
Linda You are my best memory, You are all of my best memories
