Can't sleep

Hi Paul

No rain here in sunny Canvey Island, meant to cut the grass, slowly building up enthusiasm for it.
glad you slept, you sound like me, I tried a sci-fi, series, people dying, tried orange is the new black, and someone’s mother had died, so watched the Simpson. My family share Netflix and Disney with me, which helps. Taken all decs down  stripped the bed for washing, now feel so warm, handy though as no heating till the 10th when I get my new boiler. Will try TV again in a few moments, if that makes me anxious again, then it’s a siesta for me to 

Why cant I cope with this I so want to feel ok be me but I just can't do this, I don't even understand what's going on in my head,surely I should be feeling better,iv just managed to burn my dinner that I didn't even want but so disappointed in myself for not coping darent even tell the children how bad I'm feeling x

Hi Keith, 

I found the new series Around the world in 80 days quite an easy watch. David Tennant plays the main character and does so quite well. I really enjoy the New Years concert from Vienna, so long as you enjoy some cheery classical music.  Far too wet, here in sunny Wigan, to even consider entering the garden !

Best Wishes,

Paul

Hello Jayne

honestly  I don’t think our brains are working 100% at the moment, I keep doing daft things putting stuff in stupid places, heated my milk in the microwave and forgot to put it in, as they say in the movies “ cut yourself some slack” I feel like I am running in only 2 or 3 cylinders most of the time, it’s no wonder things go wrong, when I make such mistakes I tell the others, it somehow lessens, it, makes it more light hearted, even though at the time it doesn’t feel like that. If I accomplish one thing in a day, that’s an achievement, did two today Christmas decs and bed wash, and I so hate putting the duvet cover back on. So try not to take things too seriously, it won’t help you. For me it’s just a matter of what I feel comfortable with, sometimes it’s TV other times, some relaxation music, or just a lie down in bed and try to chill, what we’re going through is immense, I so hope you can find some peace and quiet for yourself.

just a thought, is your GP supporting you in any way ?

thinking of you

I have tried my best I really don't want to try antidepressants  had them before I didn't like them but I'm struggling, it's been one thing after another my boiler packed up the week mark died,my family have had covid,my dog is on his way out got to sort money out, got to go back to work 

When do I sit and think about losing my best friend,my lover,my soul mate

Hi Jane and all,

Of course it's a very personal decision whether we take medication or not. Personally, I feel that we are struggling enough as it is, so if medication could help, why not try it? I have been on antidepressants and on sleeping tablets for some years and definitely would never ever want to be without. Especially not without the sleeping tablets.

Love X

Hello Jayne

You need to set some time aside each day, for ‘You time’, to relax and maybe revisit happy memories, it helps me, I do sob on and off, but feel more relaxed after an hour of relaxation music, there’s plenty on you tube, or I posted links to some free music.

please be kind to yourself

Hello Melanie

exactly right, it has to be a personal decision, but I would not have managed without my AD, my DR is helpful, albeit a slow process. Some find counselling helps, others not, don’t think it’s for me, but may change my mind, honestly I will try anything to ease the total pain of grief and help me manage better. I really want to join our U3A group this year, soon hopefully, need to make an effort, a personal goal.

keep safe & well

Never mind just got get on with it x

Hi Jayne,

I have also found it very difficult to explain my true feelings and the impact of a broken heart. My answer was to put my true feelings in writing and send it to my kids by email. The words I used were taken from this group and were re-posted on this group several weeks ago. They also expressed very effectively my grief and heartbreak, and how this made me feel. I put a cover note explaining to my kids my difficulty in expressing how I felt verbally with them and I was sending them these words to try and help them understand and that I was not trying to be distant from them. It appears to have worked as the kids have kept in touch by text almost daily to ask how I am, anything they can do, etc… on 29/1 I took them all out for a nice lunch. When I first sat down in the restaurant the tears welled up and broke, simply because it was a place my darling Sharon and I often went to. None of them made a fuss and made a point keeping the grandkids amused so they didn’t really notice my upset.

Typing this now and my tears are welling up again, as it hits me once more I will have no more wonderful meals out with the one I love more than life itself. I hate that, despite the love and support of family & friends, each day and night I feel more and more lonely and completely lost. Trying not to even think about tomorrow, if I’m truly honest with you all, I really don’t care if tomorrow never comes !

best to you all.

Paul x