My Husband died 15 weeks ago

Hi Jenq

i feel you’re pain. It must be so hard when you’ve been with someone so so long.

For me I met my soulmate Dave late in life, I was 42 and it was wonderful. I did it! It took me a long time compared to many around me but I DID IT!! I found ‘the one’ and we had only 7 years together but they were the best most intense years full of love & laughter that now I don’t know what to do with myself. He was my life I loved him so deeply. 

I’m not afraid to be alone, I took care of myself for a long time BUT I chose to find Dave and like a needle in a haystack, I did!!! Then it was cut short by this trauma and I’m reeling. I got so very lucky then so very unlucky. He was such a good man and we had so many plans  

I now face loneliness because he can never be replaced. He was truly one of a kind. 
It’s ...awful and he was only 52 as well. 

Life can be so cruel. 

Talk on here, let it out. Nobody judges. 
All ages, all various journeys but all now on here to help each other through the very worst pain of our lives. 

Xx

Thank you I will keep coming on to this site and I’m sending you a big hug

Why do I feel like at the moment I’m torturing myself , keep thinking of ian constantly and keep going over the same  memories I know one day I will smile when I look back,  at the moment there making me go crazy that’s all I think about all day everyday Xx

Jenq, I have to feel this is helping you anyway. 

You have to do whatever you have to do. We genuinely understand what you are going though and know that memories can be their own torture. You will come to it in your own time, that place where the memories are happy, and perhaps this is something that you need to do to get to that place.

Thinking of you,  Sue xxx

Thanks sue

Although it’s hard to hear it’s all in the timing. Or at least that’s what I’m hoping. 
I found it hard, still do, when my mind wanders to not remember and play over and over that last horrendous week. That’s what I’ve been fighting mainly. 
I’m too scared my thoughts go there when I think of him I have to push him out of my head all the time. He’s in there constantly so it’s like ping pong! BUT until I get to a point where I can remember the wonderful times we had without the final week blocking/taking over, then the ping pong will continue. Time. 
xx 

So true xxx

Hi Jenz

i think it’s a process of grieving I struggle thinking of the good times as it makes me sad but I’m sure in time I will and smile. I cope by not looking at photos I catch a glimpse  every now and then and if I don’t cry I know I am making progress. I have tried to train my brain not to think of my darling Nick close to bedtime so I can sleep otherwise it just snowballs. It’s only 16 weeks tmr for me but the heart wrenching reality attacks are not as frequent and I am managing them, so Jenz don’t be hard on yourself all in good time, although constantly in our hearts

Hugs

Leigh xx

Everything you have said is so true, I was always looking at photos of him and I was all over the place my husband died around 16 weeks ago and this month as been the hardest it was also the month of our wedding annivery and is head stone went up  for the moment I have had to stop looking at photos of him and when I go to bed and read for a bit so my mind doesn’t go there .good talking to you Leigh xxxx

I try to look at it as we have entered another trimester, it would have been our 27th wedding anniversary on 19th too, I was dreading it but I got through it as I didn’t say anything to anyone so they couldn’t say anything to me. That is another date/ anniversary I can put a ‘tick’ by. We shall have our emotional ups and downs and I can’t lie the downs are tough at times but we are getting through with the support of one another xx