My Husband died 15 weeks ago

Thanks I will keep writing feeling very low at the moment I have lost my whole world losing ian xxx

I feel the same. It’s devastating. I feel like I’ll never be ok ever again but hearing people talk on here there is hope that it eases somewhat. I need the raw pain, the not being able to breathe properly, the thinking he’s just ‘away’ not ‘gone’ to stop... it hasn’t yet but I’m hopeful..  

xx 

I know what you mean I seem to cope a bit better in the week , when it gets close to the weekend my stomach feels like it’s churning and feel sick I just dread the weekends and in the future what is there to look forward to I have no friends really anymore I just loved being with my husband xxxx

Oh I hear you about the weekends. You’ll find may on here relate to that.

Also Dave and I were like that, very ‘us’. I still have friends but it’s not the same as your partner/husband. 

We have to know we’ll get through this to a more ..gosh what’s the word...manageable time. Xx

Your right it’s so nice talking to others that’s are feeling the same pain I lost my brother 9 years ago and I feel awful saying it but it does not compare to the loss of my husband xxxx

Hi Jenq xx Welcome.

You are not going mad, and even if you were, I think we would all understand - On 1st April it will be 12 months to the day I lost my Andy, he was 56. 

At first I thought about him constantly - more than when he was alive. Over 12 months is has eased to every 5 minutes or so. I know that sounds bad, but it's not, because the type of thought has changed a bit, as well as the frequency. It is becoming more bearable, and I am learning to live without him, whether I want to or not.

Take what you can from these lovely people here - even if you don't find all of the advice applies to you, at least you know we are here for you.

We know where you have been and hopefully can help you find a way to go. Somewhere in another direction, through or around or under the pain.

A big virtual hug for you - Sue xxxx

Thankyou I really relate to everything you had said I feel the same I think about him all the time more than when he was alive , but when I think of him it’s back to the days when we we’re really young and the ups and downs we had and I keep going over and over them in my head I’m driving myself insane xxx

Hi Jenq

I was just having a reality moment , my son cuddles me which is lovely but what works for me is coming on here and reading or messaging it is comforting to know it’s not just you and we can all support one another   
because nobody gets it like us. It’s only 15 weeks  since my Nick was taken he was only 61 and the loveliest man, he was all I needed,I didn’t mind lockdown as I had him, now... well it’s different. I keep myself busy, I have joined Mrs Hinch cleaning advice page, the miracle results you can get with a 2p coin!! Now you can all laugh as it don’t get much sadder than that! I have started looking at holidays as I intend to go , hopefully I will have the strength and confidence to book as I know Nick would want me to,I know he will always travel everywhere with me. Keep focusing one day at a time

Love and hugs

Leigh xx

Hey Leigh and Jenq,

It's good to come here as you say - we really do get it. I don't have to worry about if what I say seems "not right" or I can't find the exact words - because actually there are none, but we all know it.

I have gone the other way with the cleaning - I used to be manic, but now I'm nearly normal! It's not sad to join Mrs Hinch's Henchmen - you're definitely not on your own!

Hope you get on holiday and enjoy it, even if it's not the same. I am going to the beach in my photo (if I don't have to cancel) but doubt I will see the phosphorescence again - that was once in a lifetime, like Andy.

Love Sue xx

Hi sue and Leigh when my husband found out he had incurable cancer , he did say to me you must still have your holidays that’s what we did we was always somewhere but at the moment I’m stuck in limbo I feel I can’t do anything without him I hope one day I can but I’ve done everything with ian , it’s so hard when you have never been on your own and then you are it’s scary I had been with ian since I was 14 we did break up a few times in our teens but he his all I know he died 5 th December he was 53 xxx