Coming back...

Hi Martha, welcome back. I'm just back myself after a break of several months - I stopped because it wasn't helping me, and seemed to make me worse. But I suddenly felt the need to talk to people who KNEW, if you see what I mean. I know you see what I mean. The people on this site are just tremendous, and we are all here for you. Sometimes you don't need counselling (though I guess I should look into that at some point) you just need to be able to speak and be heard. We identify with each other, even though our stories are all different. It is the same for all of us, we have all had the best thing in our lives taken from us, and sometimes we can cope with it better than at others. Here for you xx

Yes, I regret not taking a lock of hair, too. I didn't think of it until after they took his body. I could have done it, I had 2 or 3 hours alone with him at home after he died. I ended up combing through his hairbrush (Andy had long hair) and have a little ball of it now. I imagine he would be laughing his head off at me, ending up with such a tiny amount of his lustrous locks! xx

Dorothy, welcome back, I remember you from a number of months back. I totally get what you are saying. Often bereave meant counselling is not what we need but simply to be listened to and understood, truly understood, by people who have gone or are going through a similar situation. Much love and keep posting X

Hi Mel, yes, I remember you, too. I was not abandoning this place, it was just too painful to be typing and weeping continuously at the same time. It's pleasing for me to realise I AM better than I was then. Sometimes it doesn't feel like it, but when I look at my posts then and now I see the difference. I think that I thought if I railed against it enough, somehow Andy would come back to me. Now I am just resigned to be sad in that part of me and make the most of what I have. xx

Hi Sue {called you Dorothy before, sorry},

I have had times when I wasn't here much too and yet I always come back and I know now that I want to stay here on this forum, in this lovely group of people, because it is so wonderful to be connected with you all. By the way: If any of you send me friend requests I will be happy to accept them, it's just that I don't seem to be able to send them out myself, I am using this site with my iPhone and, because of my vision impairment, I am using the voiceover from Apple and it doesn't seem to be working well with this site, I have never been able to find the place on the site or on my profile where I can send out friend requests myself. It's really not the most accessible site. 

Love, Mel.

Hey Mel xx We are already friends from last year xx  You are a blessing, girl 

Poor you, using Apple voice, I salute your technical expertise and at the same time am giggling at the imagined mistakes you may get from time to time.

I use my laptop for this site - I find if I have apps on my phone I never do anything else but look at it all day! Social media sites and emails are all on my laptop - that way I dip in and out when it suits me, or when I feel there is a special need. 

Today I am mostly cleaning then gardening - the weather's fantastic here at the moment, but I haven't hoovered or dusted for nearly 2 weeks and I don't want to turn into that old lady who needs the TV teams round!

Yours in cleanliness - Sue xxxxx

Hi Sue,

yes I know we are friends but I am still trying to figure out how to get to the section where I can see the people I am friends with. It's a strange site and was so much easier to use before the update came.

yes I know, the mistakes mostly happen when I dictate my messages. I bought and adapter awhile ago where I can connect the iPhone to a normal keyboard and that makes exchanging messages here so much easier.

I am glad you have such nice weather and can do some gardening today. It's cloudy and windy here and only 6°. Will go for A walk shortly.

love Mel

Hi Sue

Thats very sensible putting all things on your laptop as they do get obsessive on your phone... you didn’t strike me as sensible...

I have to admit I’ve never been that fond of Facebook even though does help me stay connected to friends all over the world but still not my favourite thing and I’ve removed it from my phone for now as I won’t be going on that for some time if ever again! I prefer Instagram. Dislike Twitter (pointless I feel) but had to have at one stage for work. 

Hope you got your dusting done, I used to work in TV I’ll have the teams round quick sharp if not!!
xx

PS: old lady? Yeah right! 

Oh, you have no idea how sensible I am .

The only thing that bugs me slightly is when folk assume I am not technically proficient because I am over 60 and don't have everything loaded on my phone. Just because I don't do it doesn't mean I couldn't.. 

All I did for the last 20 years at work was to be hooked up to the internet (remember when you had to switch it on?), s LOL) so I wouldn't have it in the house until about 8 years ago. I still keep a little cashbook for my bank account and xcel sheets (printed out of course) for annual, monthly and weekly budgets - these go back to 1984, the handwritten versions. 

Andy used to say I was a control freak, but the best sort - I don't try to control anyone else, just me

Well, that's hard enough, isn't it?

I love being an old lady now, treat me like a time machine, I can take you back a long way!

Love Sue xxxx

Mel xx

I didn't do much gardening in the end, the weather was so nice lots of lovely people seemed to be out for walks and popping in to see me in the back garden, now it's allowed.

Plenty of time for gardening, I was very glad for the company.

I hope you enjoyed your walk - it was very cold in the shade here, but T-shirt weather in the back south facing garden and out of the wind!

Love - Sue