Overwhelming sense of loss .

Hi Lavender1969

Hoping to see better days seems unattainable, or that's what it feels like. I looked at some photos of my wife, on my phone a couple of days ago. Five minutes is all I managed before the tears came. The pain is never ending. I don't see how, feeling utterly lost and without purpose. Is ever going to change. 

Clinging to hope. 

I just walked past my husbands photo on fireplace and I was set off into floods of tears out of nowhere!

Relentless waves of sorrow

Sheila

Hi all , it’s been 8 months for me as well, just taken my son who lives in uk ( I live in Ireland ) back to airport. Cried when I dropped him of because usaly my wife would be with me. I definitely thought after 8 months things would be getting easier. But like many have said it is getting harder. Just have no interest in anything anymore. You can’t call this living. 
Mike. 

Hi Sheila 

You are going through raw immediate grief my duck. I still can't look at photos of my wife for more than a few minutes, without tears. It's a year and two months for me and it's no easier. Keep putting your thoughts on duck. We all feel for you. 

Hi  Winmick

Its 5 months for me, i have to say have had a good week so far,  BUT i might only have to mention his name and it might bring me down on to my knees.

Never know when and where it come's from.

Your right it's not living as such more existing  from one day to another.

Our other halves would want us to try and make the most of this life, to go forward with them in our heart's.

Take Care Ellie xx

"You Never Walk A Lone"

Hi Mike 

I don't call it living or having a life either. It's simply existing day by day. Half of you is missing and nothing or no one can push that reality to one side. A few hours sleep, if you can sleep is the only respite from the torment. My doctor has informed me, he will not prescribe any more sleeping pills for me. I only took one at the weekend's. I'm starting nights this week and won't sleep at all. Still, I'll plod on day by day. 

Hello Sheila, 

I am very sorry for your loss. I wish, I could say something encouraging, but I'm afraid, I can't. I cannot remember, when I posted something on here last time. I have turned into myself completely. 

My life has fallen apart  and I am unable to pick up the pieces. Just like you, I have to go to work to be able to pay the bills. Often I feel like not going, but cannot even think about it. 

I joined a walking group yesterday. It was good, but couldn't get rid off that feeling of loneliness. I am sure, that many of us here have experienced the same, that even when we are in a crowd, we still feel lonely.

Dear Sheila. Just take each day slowly. Little step at a time. If you have family and friends arround, that helps. Just do, what you feel up to. No more.

I hope, things will get better for us all one day. 

Sending my love and hugs to you all. 

Love

Andrea xxx

Hi, 

I've been reading the latest posts and was struck by Mark's and Lavender's. Like you, Mark, it's 14 months for me. Why does it feel as if we were going backwards, as you say Lavender? Recently, I've started back crying everyday and am missing my husband more and more. Is it because it's been too long now? Sometimes I just feel like giving up. I really don't understand it. I can't force myself to feel better or to be positive. Maybe, I should but what an effort that would require! I know grief has its own timeline but I don't know what that means. Do we get up one day feeling better once grief has done its time? I'm so tired of not being without him. I'm really beginning to wonder when it starts getting better on a more permanent basis, and not just flashes. Gilles' family just has to get in touch with me and I crumble, even if it's a little email they send to say hi.

Going round in circles.

Hi limbo 

I feel no differently to you duck. I have moments of thinking positively, but reality shoves it aside immediately. I honestly don't see it getting easier this year. If and when our grief eases, I feel it will be just as hard to get past existing day by day. I hope I'm wrong but I can't see the feeling of being utterly lost, ever diminishing. 

Hi Mark and everyone else I to wish it could get a little better but for every step forward I take its 3 back I have a void in my life that can not be filled life was a little more bearable when I was getting the occasional sign from her but they seem to have stopped perhaps that is to get used to being totally alone I don't know how you all have a goodish day