Overwhelming sense of loss .

Hi Jane and Kayteem,

We're all doing the same things aren't we. I'm eating crap. I go home after work and open the door to empty deafening silence, dread it every time. Don't think I will ever get used to that. I'm a big strong man, but if I haven't broken down walking into the house during the week, I do so at the weekend. Without fail. Been to doctor's yesterday, she gave me 10 sleeping pills because I can't sleep at all. She keeps pushing me to have counselling. Can anyone share any thoughts on bereavement counselling. I told her that being part of this group is helping me. She agreed, so much better dealing with a female doctor.

I can feel my tears building up for the weekend, it's a weird feeling knowing it's coming. Just have to let it out. Thinking of you all. 

Hi I know how you feel I can't go to Tesco as I just break down in tears or take my dogs to certain areas it seems so silly but just can't do it so you are not alone can only hope it gets better for us all 

Hi Mark

I've been following this thread in the background and I am really pleased how much everyone is rallying round you and that being part of this group is helping you but there is other ways we can help you and if I may I like to signpost you to some other places that might be able to help you.

First we have a volunteer called WENDY who runs our (Missing Group) group page where you can pop into and have a chat and ask questions. Wendy will try and get back to you in about 2/3 days

Secondly if you ever wanted to speak to a real person we have a very friendly support line where you have a chat to one of the team about anything it's all in confidence and you set the pace of the conversation they can be contacted on 

0808 808 0000

7 days a week between 8 am and 8 PM

Thirdly we have a page where you can enter in your post code and find out support in your area and you can access here Down your  way it maybe that your nearest place for bereavement support is at your local hospital if they have a Macmillans Information Services Centre where you can pop into and have a chat about how you're feeling or anything you want. They are normally to be found near the entrance in the larger hospitals but down your way page will give you details of locations

Fourthly You maybe fortunate in having a Maggies Centre in your area where you can get some bereavement counselling and even sit in some of the groups that they have on offer.

Bereavement counselling doesn't suit everyone but it maybe the place for you to go and discuss everything either on a one to one basis or part of a group.

Lastly you are very welcome to come on here at anytime and Express your feelings, have a chat, join in with the discussions or just generally have a moan and let off steam all of the people in this group are in the same position as you but in different stages but they know what you are going through and will help you get through it.

I hope that I have given you some places for you to try for additional support but I do look forward to you coming back on here as often as you want to chat to the members who you have already found to be very friendly and supporting.

Ian

By clicking on any of the green text above will open up new pages for you. 

Thanks I wasn't having a go at you it was just my thoughts on trying to cope it's so hard when it happens so  suddenly   

                              Xx

Hi Newb, 

It's great that you have your dogs to provide some comfort and purpose. I miss our dog terribly as that routine is gone and adds to feeling of being lost. Hope that time will ease our pain is what we all cling do, every day. Day after day, I'll be in bit's this weekend at some point. Trying to get through each day one at a time is so tiring, I'm sure everyone agrees and that is my sole focus. I look forward to nothing but cling to hope time will ease our pain. I'll go to work tonight and function, but return to an empty home and try and get through the weekend. Trying to fill free time at home is awful and torture it's self. Before her death I was quite happy sat doing nothing together chilling. Now sat alone during the daytime hour's is awful. Starting to ramble, so glad I've joined the group. HOPE. 

Hi mark I know what you mean I sit at home trying to speak to my wife hoping she will let me know she is OK where ever she is and end up crying it's a crazy situation to be in so much pain hope you get through work and hope it gets easier  soon

Hi Mark and Newd . I know exactly how you both feel, every day seems like a year trying  to find things to do that you don’t want to do. Things that you enjoyed doing before we went down this road. I also sit and talk to my wife s photo, and it always ends in tears. I used to love cutting the grass and tidying up outside, but now I think what’s the point. Sorry now I am rambling. Hope it gets better for all of us soon. 

Mike 

Hi Mike, 

We all, never before our loss had a clue what hope really meant until now. Now we truly understand the meaning done of hope is and we cling to it. 

Hello all, thanks for sharing think we all need this, glad I wasn't being taken out of context maybe I was just feeling a bit over sensitive. 

I have a houseful of teenagers, birthday celebrations, lucky they want each other's company not mine. Having a flat day today, been ironing, music on, then a couple of the songs set me off and the tears came. Already trying to think of something to do tomorrow, altho wondering whether just to take myself off somewhere out and just be.

Thoughts with you all, I reckon we're all doing what we can to get by and that's got to be enough right. Xx

Evening All, 

I had a ok day in work today. The drive home set me off thinking I should be driving home to him. Then once in the house I’m gone again. I’m still in that mode someone is going to wake me up saying it’s all been a dream ( if only ). I hate when people say you have got a life to live so live it. I honestly want to say to them I don’t want my life I want to be with him.  I was thinking today surely this much pains got to do some sort of damage to ourself how can we feel this utter horrendous pain and not cause ourselves some sort of damage.

I feel my man around me all the time could just be my imagination I don’t know but I feel he’s around me so I take a tiny bit of comfort with that I talk to him all the time. 

Are any of you seeing more and more about cancer. I think oh il watch a film to see if I can try and take my mind of him then bang an advert comes on or il go on social media it’s all over there also I know it’s good to make people aware but soon as I see it now it’s like I’m not escaping what’s happened if that makes sense

i hope you all have some sort of good weekend I know it’s a hard time the weekend for us all 

hugs Jane x