My Husband Died 5 weeks ago - HELP

You are right Wonderous! Here's your Golden Chufty Sunshine - richly deserved. xxx

Well done Northernlass.    TBH I thought I would be pretty hopeless in these situations.    I’ve also had to sort out the pond weed in the pond (yucky job) and cleaned the filter!     

❤️

Hi Sunshine 55, 

Maybe we are going to find that we are stronger than we think - hope so! To be fair, I probably was the one who organised most things anyway, but I do miss having hubby around to discuss things with and to make decisions together, even if I was the one who carried them out.

Still, I, like you, are just doing things a bit at a time, and so long as I keep moving forward, even if it's slowly, I think that's ok.

Hope your weekend goes well. X

Hi northernlass

From diagnosis I seemed to be responsible for everything.    My husband hadn’t driven in over 18 months.   I’m going to start  decorating in January  - thought it would be a good project to keep me busy.    ❤️

I remember my mum doing that after my dad died, she found it quite therapeutic. My husband was 25 yes older than me, so in recent years I had done a lot of the practical things, useful as it turns out. Do wish I knew what all the cables at the back of the telly are though! Think my daughter is probably ok with that stuff though.

So so sorry to hear of your loss!  It is such early days for you and understandably you will crying all the time.  My husband passed away 2 years ago on the 28 th December only 7 weeks after being diagnosed.  He thought he had years to live and I kept it from him till the last week, when he asked a doctor and by then he was too weak to care.  We were married nearly 48 years. I manage to block things a bit longer, but still have meltdowns that suddenly hit me.  I have joined a bereavement social group, which is helping me, but I have Arthritis and so a bit limited to what I can do. 

Love and hugs to all of you on here.   Yvonne xx

What a great post Eleanor16.  I’m 7 months down the line but your post sums everything up exactly. 

Virtual hugs to you all out there, it’s just pants. 

Loraine

X

Hi wonderous

I too feel like you and wished my husband had told me what to do.  I know at the end of the day he would want me and the children to be strong and carry on but I so wished we had had that conversation, stupidly, I feel as if I need his permission to carry on.  Of course this is not true, it’s just my jumbled up Jellified brain.  

Loraine

X

Hi Lorraine,

I know what you mean about feeling you need permission to carry on. My husband died 7 weeks ago and sometimes when I feel as though I'm making a bit of progress I wonder whether he would have been sad that I am managing to get on a bit. I know in my heart that he would want me to crack on, but the thought comes into my mind at times. Silly really, I'm sure!

P.s. also identify with 'jellified brain' ! xx

Hi  Loraine. 

Yes that one sentence we were craving but never had the chance to have  will haunt us for a long time but as we travel thru this process and our lives start to build up some sort of meaning I think it will start to take more of a back seat I hope . I get so upset wen I put myself in Nickys position and try to imagine wot woz going thru her mind seaing all our family around her and the grandchildren and wot she woz never going sea as they grew up  , it makes feel sick inside . She woz loved by absolutely everyone but I had the monopoly on it he he ! 

I'm back in numb mode at the mo with very few emotions , well I woz until about 20 min ago wen a song on the tele sent me into a breakdown and now writing this haz got the tears going again . I'm like a slug on a keyboard  very slow and leaving snottery trails everywhere. 

I needed permission for everything I woz right under the thumb  Ha ha ! Only joking  we had the best relationship ever  but that's just me ...

BIGG  SNUGGS 

                     Wonderous  x.