Missing my mom

Hi Becca I am so sorry, but not surprised, to see you here again. though it's nice to hear you feel more in control and back at work, I hope that means your meeting with the head went ok. Becca i don't know what i can say that i haven't said before that could help you, other than to suggest you try a cancer charity which has helped me through some difficult times, you can talk, "face to face", with support specialists, Macmillan nurses, counsellors or other people who have lost a loved one, you can just drop in no appointment needed, search www.maggies.org to find your local one. please take care,

Eddie

Thanks Eddie, just having a bit of a wobble today. I’d had ‘good’ week. I think going through my mom’s notes just brings it back and makes me angry. 

i am trying to allow myself to feel the grief and not bottle it up.
work are being more supportive and my meeting went well. The head is now my line manager which will be so much better. 

I had a counselling session this week and I saw my GP as well. Just wish I could afford the counselling every week! 

I'm really proud and happy for you Becca, though i never was brave enough to go through mums records for many years, It's good to cry too as  you do feel better for it, i certainly do. Becca you really should try Maggies, the cancer support specialists are wonderful and they also do counselling and it's free as is the cuppa and biscuits. take care.

Eddie

Hi Becca, hope you are doing ok, take care.

Eddie

Hi Eddie,

Been very up and down. Not been sleeping so feeling exhausted all the time. It all just feels so unreal still. 

Sorry to hear that Becca, Is it your thoughts keeping you awake, had sleep problems myself so i know how you feel and it's not nice, counselling is so hard to access unless you can afford it i know and it's not right. Becca did you look into finding a Maggies centre near you. You can talk to specialist nurses or a psychologist and it's free take care,

Eddie

I keep having weird dreams & have very broken sleep. I pay to see a counsellor, but fortnightly. Been seeing her for 3 1:2 years because of my depression. She had been on this journey with me. I have looked into other things, but it would be too much to have alongside my other counselling and we talk about my grief. I have a GP appointment in a couple of weeks, but trying to get something sooner as well. I have times when it is all just overwhelming and heavy. 

Mornind Becca it's good you have counselling, i have it also and a few other therapies as well to help me, when you say other things would be too much, do you mean emotionally, financially or finding the time. Duvet days i call them when it gets too much, hope your GP appointment goes well, take care.

Eddie

I couldn’t afford to pay for other therapy as well. But for me it would be emotionally draining too and I would have to start a fresh with opening up and trusting someone. I work almost full time as well so it would be hard to fit it in. 

Sorry hear about your loss, its horrible. I lost mum mum week ago I Just feel completely lost x