Feel like everything is back to normal

Aww I feel for you....lost my mum quite young, and my dad died when I was 50. All your feelings are quite normal, as you say it's hard being an orphan at any age, your life will never be the same again. Be kind to yourself. In some areas they have schemes where people dog walk for people unable to walk their own dogs.....or volunteering at a rescue centre?   It takes time to move on to a different sort of life, things will get easier for you....take it one day at a time.   Very best wishes x

Thanks so much for your response x

Im so sorry for your loss.

My mum passed 4 weeks ago at 61 and my dad 4 years ago at 60. It really does feel like you're a different person but put back in an old life. Also understand the strangeness of the adult orphan title - I'm 30 and many of my peers still have their grandparents, as well as their parents. 

Please be kind to yourself. It's great that you're putting things in place to try to support yourself but even that can be daunting at times.

How are you finding being back at work? I know some people find it a good distraction but Ive personally found it exhausting.

Hey there

Thanks so much for reaching out. Gosh 30 thats no age at all.  Its so weird just suddenly hits me they are both gone its horrible and scary.

How are you? I am always here if you need to talk at any time I check this often.

When we lost mum it was horrific and so sudden. She too was 66. No age like yours.  She was robbed full of life etc we used to travel everywhere together so I lost that as well but I remember saying to myself at least we have dad.

Its hard not being bitter too but sometimes I just feel angry like why my parents, why my siblings its so not fair.

My dad was quite pragmatic at the end but still it doesnt help the ones left behind. We have so much stress with the house too.

Work is ok sometimes a distraction but everyone just acts normal etc and talks about fun weekends etc. Its not their fault they just dont get it. Other times I get overwhelmed and as I am busy sometimes feels too much.

I feel like after the funeral people just carry on? Do you feel that? x

Hi there, my dad died of cancer when I was 23 and my mum died of pancreatic cancer 6 weeks ago I am 35 years old. I felt very similar to you at first and still do to a point it felt like everyone was carrying on and the world kept spinning while my world had stopped and I didn't like it at all and then I had to go back to work two weeks ago and I felt guilty and almost like I was forgetting her and carrying on work has been a distraction that has helped but I find the weekends when I am off work I crumble again because I'm not busy so I literally keep busy all the time to the point I feel like I'm running my self into the ground some times. I joined a gym to try and do something positive for my mental health but if I'm honest it hasn't made.me feel any better like I thought it would. 6 weeks on I'm not so angry anymore with the world carrying on I'm more angry at why it had to happen to me and my amazing mother I think I will forever ask why. I have had some better days this week where I felt ok but I feel like I'm just walking around never actually present just trying to make it through the day. Even though I'm not exactly old but I'm not young either I feel like I have revert to my childhood as I feel alone like an orphan facing the rest of my life completely alone and it's scary I tell my self that my mother raised me the best she could for these days to come to prepare me. I am so sorry your going through all this and I can't even really give you much advice as I am still processing it all my self but one day at a time keep busy try focusing on you give your self a.reason to live on and lean on the people close to you they will never be the people you actually really need but they can help all my love xx

I feel just like you. I lost my daddy on the 9th of March, and my mum 6 years ago. My daddy reached his 60th last August, my mummy died in her early 50s. I'm only 34. I'm currently not well and gettng tests done. All family members have died of cancer. I have so much anger when I here that word. It's taken all my loved ones away. Sending you big cuddles, thats one thing i miss the most is cuddles, i currently wear his robe (night gown) and slippers. When he died, I wore it for days, did not sleep or eat, then gradually moved to a bag and now its only when I'm sad. I don't have a day, were I don't cry, I put a fake smile on for my family. I've lost my mum, dad but also myself. X

Hi, I'm so sorry for what you have been through and the loss you have suffered I am very much the same nearly all my family gone I am have genetics to test for cancer so at least then I am aware if I have the gene to look out for it. I to cry every day I try not to think about it because if I think I make my self hysterical but that's not always possible to not think is it. I keep busy a lot of time it does help but nothing takes it away and I am the same when my mum died she took my soul with her but we are left here to carry on and carry on we must I am trying to find a new normal and a new purpose to live again and I think my parents wouldn't want me to live the rest of my life sad so I try live for them but it's very hard I know. Xx

Both of my parents died when I was in my 20s and I remember thinking at the time that it meant I was now an orphan.

You said you would love a dog.  I have a suggestion regarding that.  Animal shelters are usually desperate for volunteers to exercise and play with the dogs in their care.  If that's something you're able to do, it would make a  big difference to the quality of life of the dogs and also give you a meaningful focus that isn't a mere distraction.

Thank you for your reply x

Hey there

Thanks for your reply and I am sorry that you are going through it all too. Its horrible isnt it sometimes I just cant believe I have no parents. Losing my dad has bought back everything about losing my mum. I know they would be so sad for me and want me to be happy and live my life but its hard. I find it hard to go back to the house now it was so full of life when my mum was here and miss seeing my dad pottering in the kitchen its just a shell. Sometimes I just feel scared. i wish I had children and my own family as I feel thats how people carry on. I never thought I would want to see the house go but now feel sad when I am there. Just all their things. I totally get wearing your dads things. I have my dads pullover on my bed. I found my birthday card the other day from my mum, my mum passed a month later she was so poorly then but even went shopping with my sister for my presents. In my card i can see she struggled to write it and she has put I love you always and forever and I think she put that to keep me strong. It made me hysterical reading it again. .

Sometimes feel I can only relate to people on here all my friends have still got both parents.well one lost their dad a long time ago too which is sad. I get angry too I think its normal. anyway I am always here if you need to chat, vent , cry etc. Pls take care of yourself xxx