Feel like everything is back to normal

Thank you for your reply. I totally agree with coming on here helps me. I know I only started on Friday but I come on here every day, (missed Sat & Sunday was with my husband) to see replies and read others stories. All my friends still have their parents, even my husband. It helps to know your not on your own and others understand you. I'm currently in the process of moving in to my dads house, I feel comfortable here. Have not went anywhere near his clothes ( ie bedroom) every time I try I just close the doors. I even get sad thinking about it. My house is two floors, as my dads is a beautiful bungalow on one floor. It's helping with my illness being on the one floor, stairs are a death trap at the moment. Thanks again for your reply. X

That sounds lovely. I too am back at my family home today working from here and its actually nice. I get not being able to go near clothes etc. My mums wardrobes are still as they were even after 5 years. Gosh I cant believe how the time has gone. Even her coats are still hung up. If you ever need to chat I check on here regularly. We got dads ashes the other day we are hoping to get a tree planted. I always feel a bit envious of those who can go visit a gravestone and just sit there and be with them etc.  Coming on here does help you not feel alone. I am lucky to have brothers and a sister who I am very close too but get sad for them too . Always here if you need to chat xxx

Hi, I know how you feel there's no point to anything, mum dad brother gone and I've barely heard from other members of the family my sister helps but she has work and a family. I just don't see the point anymore x

Hi, this is the first time I’ve posted on here although I’ve been reading posts for some time. I lost my mum to pancreatic cancer at the end of March this year, with her only having been diagnosed less than 4 weeks previously. I lost my dad in January 2021 to Covid. 

I’m so sorry for all of your losses, they totally resonated with me. Being an orphan is a terrible feeling isn’t it? I am 45, so older than most of you, but I still feel too young for it to have happened. All of my friends and work mates, even the ones older than me, have at least one parent and most of them still have both. 

I was extremely close with my mum, I lived with her and we did everything together. She was my best friend and I miss her so very much. I don’t even know how I have got through the last 12 weeks if I’m honest, I don’t have a family of my own and my brother is absolutely fine and wasn’t particularly affected by losing his mum. I do have a partner, by he is extremely bored of me getting upset and constantly talking about my mum. He gets angry with me being upset, which really isn’t helpful. My friends seem to have deserted me she don’t even bother checking in with me now. 

I have found online forums like this a godsend as there are people on here that truly understand what we are going through. Please take care all and know that I am thinking of you and do know what you are going through x 

Hey there

You sound just like me. I was so close to my mum she too passed from Pancreatic 5 years ago feels like yesterday she was 67 but a very young 67 and I miss her terribly. We went travelling together all over and she was so full of life and positive.  45 is too young definitely I am 43 but my younger brother is 35 and lost both its horrible. My mum never made my 40th. We lost dad in April. Just makes me so sad not having parents and feel lost sometimes. 

I think people dont understand none of my friends have lost both parents and actually only one has lost her dad the rest have both parents.

Its funny as my mums mum passed at 89 and I always thought it would be the same for my mum but no it was horrific. Gone within 6 months but the decline was quick she lost so much weight it was awful. I wish she had written a letter or something. She went silent too which was heartbreaking. 

Losing dad makes me think more about mum too ...even more (think about her every day anyway). 

Im sorry your husband gets angry, I dont think people know what to say. I get angry that people still have both sometimes or dont ask me or talk about my parents. My  friends mum just moans about everything and spends her life on FB and it annoys me! My mum grabbed life with both hands! and would do anything to be back here with her children. Even when she was asked if she was scared her reply was she was scared for her children. So selfless. I bet your mum was too.

Always here to chat if you need to. I promise you I understand how you feel and others on here will too. xxx

Hey

Thanks for reaching out. I promise you are not alone I know how you feel we all do on here. I am here if you ever need to chat. Pls dont feel like you are on your own. After losing my mum it was the worst thing that could ever happen and I never thought I would be here still but I am. You will get strength I promise it just doesn't feel like it at the moment. Losing dad brings it all back and its very lonely I know. My brothers and sisters all have partners, children etc. 

My biggest wish is that I had a child/children to keep me going and for my parents to ahve seen that but it didnt happen for me and I have to live with that and thats really hard xx

Always here if you need to chat or rant or whatever xx

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Gosh we have got quite similar stories haven’t we?! It is really young to lose both parents, but I know there are younger people that it happens to too, like your brother. It is a unique pain that nobody can understand unless they’ve been through it. 

I’m so glad your mum grabbed life and enjoyed it, that’s really good to hear and I hope that that can bring you some comfort at least. Yes, my mum was more concerned about leaving me and my brother when she knew she was terminally ill. I cared for her at home as she didn’t want to go into hospital or a hospice and she said to the doctor when I had to call him out that she didn’t want to leave her baby, which was me. The doctor was actually quite rude, looked at me and said to my mum “THAT’s your baby!!”. Anyway, I know I was her baby to her, regardless of how old I am and it meant a lot  to me that she felt that way. 

I know what you mean about it bringing up old memories, I am still grieving for my dad and this has brought all of those feelings back to the forefront. I really do feel your pain. 

Another similarity between us is that I also so wish that a I had a child of my own right now, it is my biggest regret that I don’t. My brother has his own family, his kids are adults now, but they’re still at home and he is hoping to have grandchildren one day. 

I too get annoyed at others complaining about their lives or about having to take their mum shopping. It really infuriates me and I want to tell them that they don’t know how lucky they are. I suppose none of us do though, until it’s too late which is really unfortunate. 

That’s amazing that your mum’s mum lived such a long life, I bet that gave you a false sense of security as you would have thought your mum would love to a similar age. Unfortunately, cancer and other horrible illnesses don’t see it that way though, I just think life is so very cruel sometimes. My mum’s family didn’t actually seem to live beyond their early to mid seventies but, even so, I still didn’t expect my mum to be taken so young and so very quickly. 

I really appreciate your support, thank you, and of course I am also here for you too any time you need to chat/vent or just scream at the world xx 

Hi, thank you for replying, I am really struggling with everything at the moment I know it's early days but everything is so hard. I'm questioning everything and feel like I'm just going round in circles, wondering what the point is.x

I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling like this. Your family would definitely want you to carry on though, there’s no doubt about that. I know what you mean, I feel that way sometimes you, when the grief takes over and it all feels overwhelming.

Please  talk to me (or others on this forum) if you think that might help, I would be more than happy to listen. I’m not sure what help I can be, but I will certainly try and I do understand some of what you’re feeling.

Life really does seem unfair sometimes, with everyone else seemingly going about their business without a care in the world. I can feel your pain in your last post, please reach out and don’t feel alone, because you certainly are not x 

Thank you, that's very kind, although I'm not sure your right. Everything just seems so hard at the moment and I really can't see the point or that I'm strong enough, why bother.