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Hello everyone
It's been a long, long while since I came onto this site .... nothing to do with the cancer, but more for personal reasons ... The last time I came on here it was called What Now? I'm not sure what it's called now, but it looks different, and feels different and maybe it's time to move on and see these 'changes' as positive and once again embrace the support I generally got from the people on this site. It's a new year and time to put the past behind me, and...
Behind this veil I wear
Of soft smiles and calm demeanor
Cuts a knife of sorrow deep,
No blade was ever keener.
A rope of tears binds my heart
And ties it tight with grief.
Though on the surface I'm serene,
I'm screaming deep beneath.
This veil obsqures the world
And creates of it mere shadows
As I drift around in half-light
Blown wher'ere the wind goes.
Lost in memories, bitter sweet,
Too sad, and tired, to fight,
To find my way from darkness
And leave this endless...
Managed to get a good nites sleep so that wa a bonus.
Woke today feeling strange, thats the only way I can describe it, I dont feel ill or off colour just a bit weird, its like I know something is happening just cant pin point any one thing in particular. My anti sickness drugs seem to be doing the trick (touch wood) so all in all this is not too bad and as everyone seems to react differentkly I dont know if this is the lull before the storm or if this is not going to be as bdd as I imagined it...
Today Alan has celebrated his 80th birthday ,on Thurs he has the first of his 3 monthly check ups . Hoping iit will still be good news.
He seems to be good eats well ,but still tierd and breathless when he does things so i am still trying to get him to take it easy.
Thinking of all those that have supported us over last 9mths.
Nanaboo.
Hi I hope everyone has had the best christmas and new year they could possibly have.
Well today was mmy first session of chemo, appointment was for 11 and arrived in good time but very very nervous, the doctor then realsied that they needed an upto date blood result so this meant blood test and then a long wait to see if everything was ok. Finally got the results back and everything was fit to go, now the nerves really kicked in, they called me in about 3.30 and finally the process began about 4...
Well, I've started sorting out my clothes to pack... dec ided to throw out everything that doesn't fit while I am at it. I think this means I am going to have to go shopping, but in a way I begrudge spending money on clothes when I may not need them for long. Is this normal, or should I say 'what the hell' and spend frivoulously? I've never been one to do that and it now it seems a waste to spend much.
I had one of my sons and his family down at the weekend, we had a lovely time...
Happy new year to everyone - seems a stupid thing to say sometimes faced with things we all have to face, doesn't it?
After 7 months 'off', since being told chemo had shrunk my tumours last May - I now have scan on Weds to check state of play now. Have they grown back quicker? Are there more of them? The usual worries we all face. Will find out next Monday, when I have appt to 'discuss' results. But already I'm not sleeping, feel edgy. My husband says 'Put it to back of your mind until...
I had a meeting with my consultant on 2nd January and everything is clear, there was no spread of the cancer. I will not need any further treatment. I will see my consultant in 3 months and have CT scans every 6 months for the next 5 years and a colonoscopy after 3 years.
I feel so lucky and blessed. Some days I wake up and I can't believe that I have had the operation and that everything is OK
Sadly after a long battle with RCC my husband died peacefully on 23rd Dec 2009.
If you'd like more info about living with RCC feel free to read my full blog
2009 ended with a fab trip to Berlin with some lovely friends, and of course my dear husband. Had a peaceful easy and very enjoyable Christmas with just the four of us and my mum. My oncology appointment went very well,. Doc said 'I'm amazed your still here"! A quick prod her and there and then I was told to come back in 6 months.........yippeeee, the longest yet between appointments.
Had to see GP just after Christmas as I have a problem with my left ear, with a build up of pressure...
