I have had some really lovely comments to my previous posts. Most unexpected, but very gratefully received. I haven't been able to read other blogs yet, I am too close to tears all the time. Will try to reply to the comments soon,but not strong enough today. Some of them are in the same position, or expect to be. It is so heartbreaking, so much pain and sadness.
Yesterday it was three weeks since Pete left home in the ambulance, for what turned out to be the last time. We were so sure he would be home in a few days, he had not been in hospital except for the three operations. Tomorrow it is two weeks since he died.
I knew this was going to be tough but I was really not prepared for how bloody awful it is. Before Pete died I tried, I really tried to prepare. I read the posts on the bereaved spouses group. I tried so hard to be ready for the worst when it came, but I now realise that you simply cannot imagine what it is going to be like. The absolute, awful finality of it. For the first few days I don't think it sunk in, despite me…
Today it's exactly a week since he went. At 8 am I was for the first time lying on his side of the bed. I had no choice, as my elderly terrier had leaked all over my side while I was letting the other dogs out. Perhaps that was fate, but it made me feel closer to him. So, that's a week of firsts over with, first Tuedsay, Wednesday ....first week without him.
Although it is a week since he died, the last 10…
Pete passed away at 8 am on Monday, March 14th. I was with him, talking to him, kissing him. Just me and him as he always wanted us to be when he was alive. I have varied between numbness and truly profound sadness since. I really never knew anything could hurt this much.
