I'm a lot calmer than when I last wrote. Been practicing my mindfulness techniques and have stopped scruitinising J so much. I have realised that he has good days as well as bad, and often, nearly always actually, the reason for the bad is that he has over done it the day before. He has looked dreadful this week, but he was at a stag do over the weekend, so he took more out of the energy bank than he had in. These thoughts…
It's a year this week since J found the lump on his neck. We didn't say anything to anyone and neither of us put anything on Facebook to mark the date. Back in January I might have imagined myself writing a thankful post, maybe even putting a photo up of him during chemo and after. Perhaps I might have written something about it all seeming like a bad dream now. But I didn't, because it doesn't, we are still very much…
The narrative of our story is all wrong. After something like this aren't you supposed to walk off hand in hand into the sunset, appreciating all that is good, and live happily ever after?? Well it doesn't feel like that is happening to us at all.
For a start I am completely obsessed with J not being well. I don't understand how I was able to take it a day at a time when he was ill, and now that he is in remission…
Things are pretty much where they were when I last wrote. J is still suffering from fatigue and is also still hoarse. The fatigue can be ascribed to full time working again, stressful job, much driving, targets, nights away etc. The hoarseness is less easy to explain away.He says it doesn't bother him as he hasn't got a sore throat, but it bothers me a lot. Sometimes I can't bear to have conversations with him, I don…
I didn't get round to posting after j's first 3 month check up. The news was that his blood tests were good. How good and the ins and outs we don't know because we didn't ask, but the consultant had no concerns. He wasn't worried about j's cough and hoarseness either and said it sounded more like a virus than anything else. He said if j was still coughing 2 weeks later he'd arrange a chest X-ray.…
