Sunday's done with - 3 more sleeps until the haematologist (not that I expect this to be some kind of watershed moment).
I woke up in a reasonable mood, accidentally nutted the bathroom sink (I bent over) and was a bit peeved after that. I got to catch up with the fatherish one via text which was a little surreal, largely because he was trying to compare his thinning hair to the sound of rain hitting a tin roof.…
I've had a relatively successful couple of days I think but the panic attacks are back and it's starting to grate. Maybe panic attack is the wrong word for it because there's no classic hyperventilating, just debilitating fear so the world seems to fall away from me, my body goes numb from my toes to my face and I feel like I have lost all knowledge of breathing or I've got a weight on my chest. It's hideous and mainly…
It's probably a little early to declare today a good day but it's warm and sunny and that's enough to make a ginger smiley (providing there is enough suncream) even though I managed to fall over twice on my walk to another episode of endless appointments with health care professionals. More tests. On the bright side that all went without a hitch. On the not so bright side I've now fallen down 3 times in 2 days and am…
Today is another good day. This whole aiming for more good things is going splendidly, even if I am only two days in!
I had a minor moment of panic last night which was bought on by a combination of me (I really need to stop reading my lymphoma books; they're not as reassuring as they want to be) and anger at America (not like I over-reacted at all) because of their need to make a film about teenage love in a cancer group…
I'm having a much better day today, not least because my lovely fiance (who I probably should just start calling HP or the like since that's how he's addressed at home. Not that his name is HP but I call him Monsieur Hairypants/Hairypants/Hairy/HP etc) really cheered me up. I'm still frightened but I'm finding today easier to ignore it. I woke in the middle of the name convinced I must have a tumour in my chest because…
