I had my 5th radiation treatment today. My chest and back ache and I feel exhausted. My little rabbits continue to give me strength. My friends funeral is next week and I want to be strong enough to go. Sometimes I feel so terrified and I cannot pin down what exactly I am so afraid of. Is it death, illness, loss of control, ceasing to exist? I want so much to believe in a life after cancer but worry that I will never…
If indeed a battle best describes it. Well here I am at the Marsden, killing tiime between chemo and radiation and just willing it to be time to go home. How you come to value the really simple things wjen you are threatend with losing them. I just want to be in my own home with a cup of coffee, my rabbits, my tv and my own bed. I wonder whether life will or can feel normal again or as normal as my life has ever been…
Radiation and chemo on wednesday.
I am scared of the side effects but I am even more scared that it won't work.
Increasingly I fear the cancer will not go. They still say cure is possible but increasing complications convince me that cure may not be a realistic prospect.
Maybe I am just in a pessimistic mood. I spent Christmas almost entirely alone and normally I manage quite ok but it felt so different this year.…
I have concentrated on my dear little Google who does not know where his little friend is and wants to be with me all the time. It has helped me to deasl with my own grief at losing little Maisie. She was such a tyreasure and it was a privalege to have her in our lives. We will miss her but know that while she was with us she was loved and happy.
Goodnight darling ~Maisie
My dear little Maisie died in the night. She was only 2 years old but due to being dumped in a skip as a new born and requiring hand rearing her metabolic system has always been weak and despite trying everything, each time she got ill it became harder to get her back on track. The vets could do no more except prescribe metaclopromide, which is same drug e take for nasea and other meds like bunny zantac and healthy gut…
