My dear little Maisie died in the night. She was only 2 years old but due to being dumped in a skip as a new born and requiring hand rearing her metabolic system has always been weak and despite trying everything, each time she got ill it became harder to get her back on track. The vets could do no more except prescribe metaclopromide, which is same drug e take for nasea and other meds like bunny zantac and healthy gut flora. I knew she would not live to be an old bunny but my heart is broken into a thousand pieces. When I woke at 5am I could see she was unwell and went to her. She screamed when I touched her, dragged herself a few steps and lay down and died in less than 2 mins. When I went to sleep last night she was off her food but as this often happens I was not unduly alarmed. My vet says I could not have done more than I did but all I keep thinking is if I had woken earlier there may have been time or did I miss something. Google is looking for her and I feel accused and guilty and so hopelessly lost and grief stricken.
The crazy thing is I am still being treated for the 25 years with severe anorexia nervosa and the blockage in my oesophagus after almost 10 years maintaining normal weight but still mentally scarred from the disease is giving them cause for concern about my mental state.
To put it bluntly I am a complete mental and physical mess.
