5 down, 25 to go!

Less than one minute read time.

I had my 5th radiation treatment today. My chest and back ache and I feel exhausted. My little rabbits continue to give me strength. My friends funeral is next week and I want to be strong enough to go. Sometimes I feel so terrified and I cannot pin down what exactly I am so afraid of. Is it death, illness, loss of control, ceasing to exist? I want so much to believe in a life after cancer but worry that I will never conquer the fear and enjoy life again. My mood is low most of the time but my humour has not completely abandoned me. I AM NOT BEATEN YET!

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Harvey,

    There you go you still have your sense of Humour.

    We all going to kick the bucket sometime. I will let you into a secret. I had a course of 36 treatments,

    But its worth it in the long run.

    Take care and be safe Sarsfield.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    hi hervey

    well every day is a rollercoaster for me as well sometimes up sometimes down and yes im scared scared of everything ....chemo tomorrow the side effects  etc etc but im not going to let this b beat me no way but without sarsfield and all the other lovely people on here it would be a million times worse for everyone so chin up and lets see that sense of humour back for good do what id do get up spray my smiley face on best i can and off i go !!! chin up hun

    loads of love jen xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Harvey. You are doing a great job of taking the tratment on the chin, keep up the good work and your sense of humour is still there, bunny laughes to you and take care x Ann

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hey Harvey,

    You are doing so well mate - bet the bunnies are so proud of you - take care - remember - a day at a time.is all any of us can handle.

    hugs

    John x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Harvey

    I am not going to pretend that you'll feel the same effects of any treatment one way or another when you compare how others in the same boat are faring but one thing for sure is that we all, no matter how resolute we are about staying on top of things, feel exactly like you do from time to time: We wouldn't be human if we didn't! In my experience the general rule is that the treatment plan is decided on the basis of what is best for you at the time and letting your professional carers know excatlty how you feel and how you are reacting is paramount in determining any minor or major adjustments to that plan. It is a pity that you feel so down for so long and I am at a loss to advise other than to say there are avenues available such as your GP, MacMillan type or local Hopsice type home help and councelling and alternative therapies. I realise that, sadly to say unlike you, I am fortunate to have regular daily contact with friends and family, and also the benefit of a wonderful drop-in centre at St Luke's, where I am being treated, which gives me direct contact with other sufferers and their carers in addition to access to those alternative therapies I mentioned. I am so grateful that this is part of my coping strategy but realise it may not be everybodies choice or option even.

    From the way you keep us informed here on Mac you are doing marvellously well and I know all your virtual friends here support you 100% and long may you continue gaining solace from such contact.

    Brave blessings, love and hugs

    David Cool x