My tumour does not seem to be responding as well to the chemo as was hoped so despite the increased risk of side effects and damage to other organs radiation will begin sooner than originally planned. Also the chemo will continue for a further cycle than initially planned. Still I was warned that 'tumours can grow as well as shrink' on chemo. They hoped the radiation could be less radical if the tumour was shrunk first…
After 2 days of vomiting, diarrhea and a blinding headache, I felt better today. It is my birthday and as I knew I would be spending it alone, I decided to take myself off to the cinema to see the new Harry Potter film. I enjoyed it thoroughly and felt I had made the day special and I didn't rely on anyone else to do it for me which made me feel far more independent and self-sufficient than I had been feeling of late.…
My befriender visits for the first time tomorrow. Someone from the voluntary services to help me manage alone at home with 3 crazy rabbits. Google is shredding the box the new virgin modem arrived in at the moment. Maisie is battling a paper bag and Psych-bunny is attempting to get at my plants so she can knock them over which she seems to get huge pleasure out of.
My tolerance is low I know and I fear they notice it…
I am sure the irony of my blocked oesophagus can be lost on no-one. 25 years it took me to get on top of anorexia nervosa. I even got myself sectioned and detained against my ill it was so bad. I was not expected to live beyond my 20's , then beyond my 30's. Yet I have, with help, maintained my weight for 10 years. Now I'm fed through a tube and sucking chocolate to stay alive. If I stuff myself with chocolate and sickly…
I had a totally isolated weekend attached to my feeding tube with the tv, x-box and my dear bunnies and all was ok. The trouble started when I had to let the outside world back in.
This illness is so inconvenient. If I bould be administered treatment through the letterbox, it might be easier.
The problem is that I have an incredibly severe case of social-phobia and people scare the life out of me. In stressfull situations…
