I am feeling much more positive and thought after my last blog update I should post another as a result.
Was in quite a low place when I posted last time. I think hearing news of others losing their battle always affects you and with chemo zapping all my white blood cells, platelets, energy and optimism it left me feeling low, lonely and a bit fed up. Not like me at all so I am glad that after the chemo on the Wednesday I definitely felt more positive and more like me!!
Well despite having chemo delayed twice and being admitted into hospital twice since I started this treatment I have receive my latest CT scan results and they were, even if I do say so myself, fab! The 3 lymph nodes have now resolved, radiographer speak for clear and the bones in my shoulder and spine that have cancer in are showing signs of healing which suggests the chemo is getting in there and doing its thing too. I have 2 more cycles of chemo left and so hopefully it will sort out the rest of it and I will be on a level playing field again. Realistically it will come back even if it does clear now but there is always hope that a miracle could happen and I am happy to cling to that for as long as I can.
I feel a bit like I let myself down with my last post but to be honest it was how I felt and I needed to release it in some way and felt better for it. So whilst I don't like to admit I felt like that I did and getting it off my chest helped so it served a purpose. That said I do feel so much better for posting this one!
Thanks to Court who responded to my last post.
FormerMember
Hi Bonnie Good on you, no I am not generally a lurker, but I came actross your blogg and I think you are being tremendous and really positive - I'm on the rectal cancer bit and at the moment things are looking ok,
My hope for you, no more than that, lets go for the miracle, your body is showing signs of healing, hang on to that as a huge positive. We can all 'loose it' some time and I guess this a good place to do that , but it does help and in a funny old way helps us all to boulster ourselves for the next steps. As each fight is won you are closer to winning the overall battle!
I was always holding out for good results for you and I think the weeks before scans occur can be the most trying, but I did not wish to deminish the pain you were feeling.
I have my very own stage 4 mother in her forth year and doing well and enjoying life. Even since my mum's condition was detected treatment protocols have changed and other options becoming more available.
