In this first of a two-part blog, we will be investigating the support available from the Online Community when you are diagnosed as a younger adult.
Being diagnosed in your 20's, 30's or 40's might mean you are more likely to need support with issues around relationships, fertility, family, money and work.
In this blog, we will focus on shared experiences, fertility and family. You might be thinking about starting a family; have young children, teenagers, elderly parents or other dependants to care for. You can find the second part of the blog here which will feature conversations on relationships, career and finances.
Lots of people find it can help to have someone to talk to when you have been referred for tests for cancer, have recently been diagnosed with cancer or are coping with or after cancer treatment.
"Navigating the cancer journey can be such a stressful and challenging time but getting support from people who have walked the ‘exact same' cancer journey can help a lot." - Thehighlander, Online Community Champion
Some people describe finding it difficult to talk to friends and family about cancer and can feel quite alone. Here on the Community, like these members, you can connect safely and anonymously with others in similar circumstances to share experiences and support.
"I am new to this forum community. I am in my 30's and looking for people similar my age to discuss their feelings and experiences with there cancer treatment etc as I feel I don't particular feel I have anyone around me that fully understands going through cancer is like."
"Getting cancer at our age is such a shock, especially one where all I seemed to hear was 'you're too young for this cancer'!"
“I'm struggling to find anything about women my age going through this. I'd love to hear others experiences if possible, need to know I'm not alone.”
"Recent oesophageal cancer diagnosis age 44. Happy to share any experiences of my treatment going forward and also to learn from others who have experienced similar."
Family and friends might also be looking for support when their loved one has cancer.
"I am the wife of a 45yr old man who has just had shock diagnosis of advanced rectal cancer. We are ridiculously scared and looking for positive words of advice in handling everything, positive outcome stories. Thank you"
In addition to talking to others on the Online Community, you can find online information and support around talking about cancer from Macmillan. Speak to our Support Line about how you're feeling and and investigate other support options.
Following a cancer diagnosis, you might have decisions to make around fertility and family planning.
"I have recent been diagnosed with grade 3 invasive TNBC... someone rang me from fertility to discus my options before chemo. I’m 29 years old so they recommend freezing eggs or embryos and having an injection every few weeks to put my ovaries into suppression during chemo to possibly save fertility. Has anyone else had to think about their fertility before chemo?" - Community member, triple-negative breast cancer forum
"My husband had testicular cancer in 2021, he had one testicle removed and then one round of adjuvant chemotherapy. Thankfully he is recovered and all clear on cancer currently. Before he had the operation, he did a sperm sample. A year after the chemo they tested his sperm and said it was back to normal so we had the sample destroyed. A year after that (at the beginning of 2023) we started trying for a baby. It’s now a year and a half later and we have had no luck conceiving. My husband recently had a sperm sample checked and it came back with very low motility. I was just wondering if anyone else has been through the same?" - Community member, testicular cancer forum
Whatever you might be going through, you can use the Online Community forums to connect with people who are going through, or have been through similar experiences.
We also have an Ask an Expert section where you can ask questions to a trained Macmillan professional. Our teams don't have access to NHS medical records, but they can offer general advice on a wide range of subjects.
"I am almost 6 years post treatment for breast cancer, I was diagnosed at 33. I had fertility preservation and have eggs in storage. I got married 6 months ago and we are interested in finding out about starting the process to conceive. Does anyone have any advice on who to contact to start this process. I am not in touch with my oncology team and only have yearly mammograms. I take 20mg of Tamoxifen daily." - Community member, Ask a Nurse
Find further support with fertility and cancer through our 'Impacts of cancer' pages.
If you are diagnosed with cancer as a younger adult, you are more likely to have dependants to care for. This could include children of any age, or adult relatives who need your support and care.
"My biggest worry is how I tell my kids? It would so good to hear how from any mums on how they explained it all to their kids." - Community member, breast cancer forum
" I find it difficult to let anyone in as I don’t want to worry them unnecessarily so have only told my husband- my parents don’t live nearby and are elderly & I don’t want to tell my children and worry them silly!" - Community member, melanoma forum
"Having young children and cancer is very hard but it also helps keep you in routine and a reason to get up in the morning when you feel low. So even though there are some super hard days where parenting feels really difficult, children help keep things normal and in a way get you through. I feel like I kept going for them." - Community member, bowel cancer forum
" I used the booklet from MacMillan to help me navigate difficult conversations in a child friendly way (she’s only 5), I also gave a copy to her school so her teachers were aware of what was happening at home and we would all be on the same page when talking about cancer. " - Community member, bowel cancer forum
"Having young children and cancer is very hard but it also helps keep you in routine and a reason to get up in the morning when you feel low. So even though there are some super hard days where parenting feels really difficult, children help keep things normal and in a way get you through. I feel like I kept going for them."
Community member, bowel cancer forum
Often members come to the Community looking for support with additional needs, for example supporting an autistic child with parent with cancer.
"My husband has just received an initial diagnosis but we don't have any information regarding treatments etc. as yet. Obviously this is distressing in itself but my particular query is resources to help support our teenage daughter who has autism/ADHD and poor mental health. We're not intending to tell her until we have had further tests and there's a treatment plan, which we've been advised could be 2-4 weeks. I've seen you mention Hope Support Services on another thread but wondered if you knew of a resource that was specific to neurodiverse children?" -Community member, Ask an Information & Support Advisor
If you would like to read our expert's response to this member, you can click on the link at the end of the quote to go to the conversation.
To read more from the Community on talking to children, please find Matthew's blog 'Telling your kids about cancer'.
You can also visit our 'talking to children and teenagers' pages to find more information and support from Macmillan.
If you have been affected by any of the issues in this blog, why not start your own conversation in the forums? When you share your experience, you can help others feel much less alone. If you need help finding the right forums and connecting with people in similar experiences, please do contact the Community team by email at community@macmillan.org.uk or by PM to Moderator - Macmillan Community .
Has this blog been helpful or is there any other subjects you would like us to cover? Let us know by commenting below.
