In our recent blog 'Getting cancer at our age is such a shock - supporting adults in their 20's, 30's and 40's on the Online Community' we discussed how being diagnosed as a younger adult might mean you are more likely to need support with issues around relationships, fertility, family, money and work.
In the first of the two part blog, we shared experiences related to fertility and family, with a focus on children and other dependants. In this second part of the blog, we are highlighting conversations on relationships, career and finances.
Although many of these issues do affect people living with cancer at any age, this short blog series focuses on the experiences of members who have been diagnosed with cancer between the ages of 20-50.
Many people describe finding it difficult to talk to friends and family about cancer and can feel quite alone. Here on the Community, like these members, you can connect safely and anonymously with others in similar circumstances to share experiences and support.
Cancer and treatment might affect your relationships in different ways. When we talk about relationships, we are referring to both romantic partnerships and the relationships you have with your family and friends.
"Being a single parent and finding a life partner is hard enough without having extra problems..." - Community member, Anal cancer forum
"So what does everyone do re dating post breast or any cancer? Body not the same, medication has not so nice side effects and this effects various parts of my body. I work full time and have varying degrees of fatigue. Where do people go to date similar or match/companion with people who 'get it'? - Community member, Life after cancer forum
In our first blog, we shared family experiences from Community members who are parents or have other caring responsibilities. You might also want support with other relationships with family and friends. Some people might find that cancer brings them closer.
"...it’s a journey and as strange as it sounds there has been some beauty in this journey. Our relationships have changed and there is a different closeness between family and friends." - Community member, Bowel cancer forum
Other people might find that cancer makes relationships more difficult, in addition to other parts of their lives.
"I have had cancer of the vulva twice since 2010...I'm at my wits end as I've lived like this for 14 years now and it holds me up with career, relationships and how I feel about myself." - Community member, vulva cancer forum
You can find further support from Macmillan around your relationships.
Adults diagnosed with cancer in their 20's, 30's and 40's might also have questions and concerns about their career and financial situation.
"I'm lucky that I can manage a break from work financially for a while, but not having sick pay and a job to go back to is scary. " - Community member, breast cancer forum
"I wish employers were more aware and supportive." - Community member, bowel cancer forum
"I’m ever so lucky that my employers have been great and very understanding of my situation" -Community member, bowel cancer forum
Members have also been sharing experiences in response to a Community member's blog about Cancer at Work. Click on the link to read the blog and ongoing conversation in the comments section.
The Community also welcomes conversations about money and benefits when you have cancer. The forums are a safe anonymous space to share your worries, or help others by sharing how you manage financially.
"Another stumbling block is money and benefits...I just feel I am fighting on several fronts at the moment and losing" - Community member, Cancer chat forum
"On the benefits front. I have just qualified for PIP, universal credit and ESA as I'm unable to work... All they required was proof of treatment plan. I've worked since I was 15 and now in my 40s. It may be worth looking into if like us financial struggling. As a cancer patient you may be entitled. I was!!CAB and Macmillan were really helpful with advice and which direction to take." - Community member, breast cancer forum
If cancer makes work or money a worry, Macmillan has information and support available.
"Reading your post I couldn’t believe there was someone else out there who’s had the same experience as me at near enough the same age/stage of life. I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this too, reading your story made me feel less crazy and has brought me comfort, so thank you for sharing." - Community member, bowel cancer forum
It can also help to talk to other people with cancer here in our Community. Why not start your own conversation now?
When you share your experience, you can help others feel much less alone. If you need help finding the right forums and connecting with people in similar experiences, please do contact the Community team by email at community@macmillan.org.uk or by PM to Moderator - Macmillan Community .
Has this blog been helpful or is there any other subjects you would like us to cover? Let us know by commenting below.
