New - my dad has just been diagnosed

Hello  Kirsty (KirstyM ) 

A warm welcome to the group, although I am so sorry to find you joining us.

Let me say at the outset dad is "treatable" and we have Community members on here who have an advanced prostate cancer diagnosis and have been around for over 10 years. 

my answer to your question 

KirstyM said:

how long will I have my dad?

is - it all depends on him and his treatment. If he keeps a positive attitude, keeps as fit as possible and the treatment works - he will enjoy a very long and happy retirement. Treatments and life expectance are getting better all the time.

I have "lymph node involvement" and had my pelvic lymph nodes "zapped" with Radiotherapy and over 4 years down the line I feel great (you can read my personal journey by clicking on my name or avatar).

To help us help you can you add dad's details (Gleason Score, PSA Readings and TNM Score etc) to his profile. On your home page click on the green button - top right, then "profile" then "edit" - don't forget to click on save when you've written something.

Yes I know at the start this cancer journey is confusing - stay away from Dr Google and ask your questions here, however trivial they may be. - you will get honest answers from those who have "been there - got the T-shirt".

Best wishes - Brian.

You will be very worried but there’s a few things you need to know about PC and the first is that it’s slow growing (even if it’s advanced, aggressive and incurable.

This means you have plenty of time to get settled on the PC World (no not the computer one, our world).

So have a good read here on the forum.

Ask loads of questions on this forum.

Try your best to stay away from the Google and Bing and chat-bot doctors online.

The crystal ball hasn’t been invented so you will never get told the prognosis apart from a wild guess. Co-morbidities change things a lot.

If you stay brave and positive so will your dad. Positivity is as good as any drug.

Side effects only effect some people but there will be some you can’t avoid no matter how you try.

Fill out any health data, drugs, comorbidities, meetings, etc on your Profile page. Top left of this page - look for the green roundal with a side seat within. Press and write the details so we can help your dad and you better.

take care

Thank you so much for this. I’m in a bit of shock to be honest. My dad is quite overwhelmed right now and hasn’t taken all in what the consultant has told him. He was given a letter etc so I hopefully will be able to see all of these results myself to update my profile later. 
Your response has made me more positive minded and has been really helpful. Thank you 

Hi Kirsty, so sorry to hear about your sad news. Easy to say, but try to stay strong, not only for yourself, but for you dad also. Take care and the best of luck to you both. GedExe

hi kirstym 

I don't often post on here , but in your case i thought i would .

I was diagnosed on the 7th of january 2019 same kind of outcome as your dad .

Gleason 9 (5+4) told it was very aggressive and incurable not looking good . 

Had chemo ( will never have it again ) just my opinion . 

Been on hormone injections (zoladex) and abiraterone tablets since may 2020 .

The point i'm making is if he's prepared to fight , keep positive and get informed about what he's facing , he will have time to enjoy his retirement and his kids .

It will be tough don't get me wrong , but i'm leading a fairly normal life considering i have a terminal disease .

Surround him with positivity , he needs to get fit gym etc if he isn't already .

Do your own research and have questions written down for meetings with oncologist's etc .

Hope this helps you .

I too was told I had advanced PC in my lymph nodes . My treatment has been abiaterone and has been successful in clearing my lymph nodes completely . My treatment started 5 years ago and I am able to do most things including keeping myself fit.

Great response and one that I personally truly appreciate having been diagnosed with metastatic a month ago. It’s heartening to know that if you take the right measures and remain positive you can have a pretty normal life for many years to come. Best wishes to you and all others on here. 

Hi KirstyM  we all understand where you and your dad are at currently.  We have all been there.  I wrote a post a year ago and maybe it would help your dad.  I was told I was in palliative care after my diagnosis.

The end - straight to palliative care! 
please come back to us if you have any questions, and let us know if you can add to your profile.

Thank you for sharing this, it was a really insightful and honest read, which I needed to see. X

Welcome, although sorry that you (and your dad find yourself here).

While I understand the dangers, "google" can be your friend and ally, as long as you are selective. You need to know at least as much as the medics. If I had known what I know now at time of original diagnosis, treatment and subsequent monitoring ( a joke) I wouldn't be where i am now in recurrence. At least I was better informed about eligibility for new drugs than were my so-called team. 

Much evidence that informed patients have better outcomes. 

Good luck, Dave