Advanced Prostate Cancer and life expectancy (rant + sharing our approach)

Hi David,

Thank you for your reply. First thing I want to say is: you see? your consultant was wrong!   I do understand the need of looking at stats, that is actually my job! I build sales forecasts based on statistical data... But I also often say that a forecast is either completely wrong or lucky (in my work environement). 

This is not to say that affairs shouldn't be put in order, etc. But no need to wait for a sombre diagnostic to do so. There are a lot of people who would hang on to that number without even thinking they could make past it. It is adding a lot of stress.

I am so glad that you have outlived the initial prognosis and I am sure you have many many more years ahead of you! Because you are in charge :)

All the best.

Ah! Absolutely!

Absolutely true! 

I laughed hard at your last line, my OH would probably say the same. However, I stick to "we" are in charge because he is doing most of the efforts to adapt and he is the one living with this dark passenger. All I can offer is to fight the battle with him, help and support him as much as I possibly can even if that means I get on his nerves a lot at times

All the best to you and your amazing (I'm sure) wife.

Hi Myrtille

The problem with today's medicine is that it is so heavily dependent on and, indeed favours, quantitative research methods (ie controlled experiments, stats etc). This 'realist' position tends to overlook the more qualitative research methods looking at experiences and interpretations (a relative position). This quantitative position permits doctors to see the average life expectancy, looking at figures obtained retrospectively and before the newest medical developments. 

I much prefer to look at how people are now living with their cancer, experiencing their diagnostic pathways and treatment and the quality of life they are having. But - that's me and not everyone will agree.

To tell somebody their diagnosis is one thing. To tell them it is terminal is quite another! This however, has to be tempered with not giving false hope. Estimations of life expectancy at the stage of diagnosis is totally flawed!  We none of us know what the response to treatment will be or, indeed, whether the patient might go out and be killed in a road traffic accident etc. 

However, when the patient reaches the point when there are no further treatment options are available, then a frank and kind discussion is, I think, in order. this gives the patient options about where and how he wants to die, to put their house in order, to see loved ones before its too late etc. I was once with a registrar who had to break this news to a patient. He was brilliant! He was so kind! He explained to the patient in simple terms what the position was and gave the patient options for spending the last days and weeks. We left the room and I booked him for delivering such bad new s to me when I reach that point! (as we must not forget, we are all terminal!!!)

I fully agree with your approach to life now. We are living in the shadow of cancer lurking over us but, just as with our real shadows, we can jump out of the burning sun into a more temperate climate and get on with LIVING. 

Finally, I know exactly what you mean about working together but having to 'fight the battle'. Sadly, they are the ones with the cancer, but we, as wives, can be part of their armour!!!!  

I hope all goes well with you and your husband and thank you for your post. Im sure I'm not the only wife to have benefitted from reading it.

Onwards and upwards, eh?!!!

Spot on . Xx

MY HUSBAND WAS DIAGNOSED WITH PROSTATE CANCER 5 WEEKS AGO AFTER VISITING HIS GP SINCE APRIL WITH A WRONG DIAGNOSIS. HIS PROSTATE CANCER HAS SPREAD TO VARIOUS BONES, HE HAS STARTED HORMONE INJECTIONS IN WHICH HIS PSA LEVELS HAVE COME RIGHT DOWN. HE HAD HIS 1ST CYCLE OF CHEMOTHERAPY LAST WEEK. READING VARIOUS STORIES AGAIN, HIS ONCOLOGIST GAVE HIM A PROGNOSIS WHICH UPSET AND DEVASTED US. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME IF HIS PSA LEVELS STAY LOW CAN THIS REDUCE THE SPREAD OF CANCER AND KEEP IT CONTAINED. WE ARE FRIGHTNENED THIS MAY SPREAD FURTHER THEN THE INNEVITABLE HAPPENS?

Hi Batemac,

I am so sorry to find you here and the anxiety and fear are so very normal.

The good news is that your husband PSA dropped dramatically and he is having a treatment of HT and chemo.  The HT injections put the handle on the PC and shrink it right away that is why the PSA is dropped. The HT does not work only on the prostate but everywhere the PC took hold, like the bones nodes etc.

There are many conversations on this from about prognosis, terminal cancer and treatment of the incurable but treatable. My husband which diagnosed last November has the cancer as well in his bones and also nodes. Most of us on this form agree that the Oncologists cannot tell how long we have and what is the prognosis because we are all different. We also agree here  (most of us) that we have more years to live and we will fight this PC standing! We also know that there are new treatments every year.

It will be easier for other members of the form to reply if you could put on your profile the full diagnosis of your husband.

In the meantime make sure that he is active physically as this is the best way to fight the fatigue the HT brings as side effects. If you want to see anyone journey please click on their name.

Lots of love

Dafna 

THANKYOU DAFNA, I HAVE NO CONFIDENCE WITH HIS GP AND FEEL SOMETIMES YOUR JUST A NUMBER. BUT ONCE DIAGNOSED WEEKS LATER THE HOSPITAL ARE DOING THEIR BEST. MY ANGER IS, HE SHOULD OF BEEN REFERRED EARLIER.

Hi, feel for you both . We have been trying to get a diagnosis from March and only just met the oncologist 18th July after having the run around by the specialist urology nurse. My OH is on Prostap and Aberaterone and his PSE has dropped from 14.1 to 3.1 . We will not know if he is on a curative pathway until our next Oncology meeting in October . The group of people on this forum are so supportive . I honestly don’t know what I would do without them. Keep in touch as someone will always answer you . hugs 

Liz & OH 

XX

Hi batemac,

I know how you feel. Now you have the oncologist and hospital looking after him so try to relax and settle to the new routine. There is life with a treatable cancer.

Lots of love

Dafna