Hi everyone,
I posted a few weeks ago when we found out that my partner has metastatic prostate cancer spread to lymph nodes and bones. I received incredible responses and support. I am very thankful for that! We were shocked and a bit devastated by the news but we both got back up pretty quickly.
This is a bit of a rant; I hope it’s ok!
I am fed up with doctors and specialists who think it is right to put a time stamp on someone’s condition.
I have been a silent reader here for the past few weeks and I am horrified to read about people having been told that they have “this much left to live”.
The truth is that they absolutely DO NOT KNOW. Yes, there are stats, but remember that stats are based on a small sample of the population and that there are always new treatments coming up that would affect those stats.
In my mind, if you tell someone: You have 2 to 3 years left, there is a psychological effect by which this time frame will be stamped in their mind and inevitably, they will not make it over 3 years.
No. This must stop.
I would like to share with you how my OH and myself are approaching this terrifying diagnostic of Advanced Prostate Cancer.
Some might say we are fooling ourselves, but I like to think they are wrong.
First of all, we have agreed a treatment plan that we trust: Triplet therapy.
But that’s not all. We lived a relatively healthy life, but made further adjustments based on a lot of reading and vlog watching about advanced caner (not limited to prostate). I am happy to share the readings, etc. if anyone is interested.
I share everything that I find with my partner. We have a positive mind and when one of us is having a bad day (they do happen), we lift each other up, we do something we like, etc.
We have changed our diet to have less meat (we do love a good steak every now and then), more vegetables, eliminate sugar as much as possible and have more superfood that are believed to interfere with the cancer. MY OH was very active before but even more so now, cycling between 50 and 70km every two days.
We stay away from the negative as much as possible. We have a great oncologist who agreed that we should treat this as a chronic disease rather than a nasty illness that is going to kill him soon.
He said Advanced Prostate Cancer (at least here, in my OH case) is not TERMINAL (I used this word myself early on). This term also must stop being used. It is treatable and there are lots of options in case the cancer stops responding to one of the treatments.
We don’t have all the answers, far from. But keeping a positive mind and working together against this disease is the best we can do. Life is normal-ish, we have just been on a two weeks holiday, we go out to concerts, restaurants, etc.
We chose not to give this nasty disease so much importance in our lives, we refuse to give it the power to govern our lives. We are in charge.
Wishing everyone a great mid-week!
Hello Myrtille
I will second Dafna and I agree, great post - it's not a rant you are saying something I for one agree with.
I hate the word terminal - it's so final - TREATABLE is the word to use and I agree Consultants should never give a time xx years. Yes death comes to us all but most people have no idea how long they have - Consultants don't know either!
Your attitude is correct to change your diet and exercise more and it's great that you are supporting one another and the positivity is half the battle.
Good luck with the Chemotherapy when it starts on 23 July. Keep us posted as to how it goes and remember you are not alone on this journey - we are all with you.
Best wishes - Brian
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Mstev - I love your sense of humour…… and your honesty 
