We were just informed yesterday my husband has a grade 3 prostate cancer.

Hi

It's a terrible shock to both you and your husband. There are a number of wives on here who can, I'm sure, give a better wives perspective than I can.

In the meantime, have you any other stats you can share - PSA etc - and they will enable us to advise further and help explain his position to your children.

Regards

Stuart

So sorry to hear your news. Your reaction is understandable and is shared with many others with a personal diagnosis or that of a loved one. Things will get better once you start on a treatment pathway and can focus on a cure or management of the disease.

Also take hope from the many inspirational stories you will find on these forums of others often with a worse prognosis who are enjoying life to the full and not letting their cancer control their lives.

Keep us posted and take care of yourself and your husband.

Rob

Hello Wifesince44 years  A warm welcome to the online Prostate Community - you will find plenty of help and re-assurance here.

First off - below is a link to the advice we give regarding telling your children.

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/diagnosis/talking-about-cancer/talking-to-children-and-teenagers

Next - grade 3 Prostate Cancer can be treated with a view to being "cured". As my good friend Scampidoodle has said in the first post if you have some of your husbands diagnosis figures, Gleason score, Initial PSA TNM stage we can help you further.

As Sandberg has said, once you settle down on a treatment pathway - life will return to the "new normal" and everything will become much clearer - but the initial diagnosis is a shock.

Right from the start my wife and I told our 4 adult children everything and they have been amazing with their support - cancer is a family thing and rest assured -  we have all been there where you are now - things will get better.

Feel free to ask any questions and use the Community to ask for help and information. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Best wishes - Brian.

Hi, and a warm welcome. What you are experiencing is very natural and one that may of us wives can empathise with. All your plans and hopes for the future seem to come crashing down. The best way I can describe it is like the grieving process. When my last husband died all I could see was happy couples walking together hand in hand, and I thought I would never have that again. I am fortunate that I did find love again but that didn't reduce the sense of devastation I felt when we found out he has incurable cancer, so we are on a different journey now. It will take a little while to get to the acceptance stage but we do get there, and so will you. We have been given an opportunity to re-evaluate and go forward together. For us it has brought us closer together and we enjoy life to the full, albeit in a different way to what we had expected.

Thank you for expressing your feelings as it helps others realise that they are normal.

Thanks for replying. His PSA is 8.71ug/L

He is 67 years of age. 

Our "children" are grown adults by the way.

Hi

8.71 isn't too bad - mine was 18 and there others who have much higher scores. ( I appreciate its not a completion!) 

You mention he is stage 3 - do you know the full staging ( TNM)? His should be T3NxMx with x being a number).

A big shock I appreciate. I can still 'see' the hot August day after I had been told.

Regards

Stuart

He said he hasn't been told any other information other than he is having his biopsy next week.  Obviously we will know more a few days after that.

 Thanks again for replying . It's a great comfort, as are all of the replies Im getting from other people on here.  At the moment I'm lost. Any information is very much appreciated .

 Wifesince44 years  welcome to the forum. It's a very stressful time waiting for the results of tests, but Prostate Cancer is slow growing so time is on your side.

I was 71 when diagnosed in 2018 with T3A N0 M0, Gleason 9 but a PSA of only 11 (risen to 15 by the time treatment started). This was all pre-Covid but it still took over six months from first referral by the GP to the start of treatment. T3A means the tumour was pushing at the edge of the prostate capsule and may have invaded surrounding tissues. However, there were no lymph nodes or bone metastases.

I had three years of hormone treatment and 20 sessions of radiotherapy in early 2019. My last hormone injection was in June 2021 and I am currently on six-monthly PSA tests. My PSA has been stable at 0.2 for nearly two years so I'm currently in remission.

I'm now 76 and fitter than I was before diagnosis. I hope that helps you to see that there's a future ahead.

Good luck with the rest of the tests and whatever treatment path you choose.

You should get the gleason score and staging after the biopsy.  Hope it's not a long wait for the results.  Then you usually wait for an Multi disciplinary Team (MDT) meeting to determine the way forward - they happen regularly once a week or so so once that is in things will start to take shape.  The waiting for results of tests, scans etc is the very worst part of this journey.

I can not thank you enough for this. It's very reassuring.

You have done be so well!   ️