Well your further down the journey my friend! I’m still not sharing with anyone but this group as I know it will devastate my wife! This time next week I will be told surgery or oncology or both! It’s amazing how your life is so on track and with no warning you hit the buffers so very hard! Staggering! Well I’m stage two at the moment and hoping the number goes down and not up!
You see all the statistics stating how many get cancer yet I never saw myself as one of them! So thankful for this forum to just vent off!
You should share. I didn't share with the wider family until I knew exactly what I was up against - after all tests and scans and after the MDT but my wife was with me all the way. She was my rock and a great help at all the meetings and researching the possible treatments. Though in the end radiotherapy was the best for me - as explained below.
I had PSA 12.9 Stage T2N0M0 Localised Stage 2 but when the rad. onc. and Urologist saw the MRI scan it was decided that Stage 3 disease couldn't be ruled out because the tumour was bulging out of the capsule edge at the back so cells could have escaped and there could be localised spread. So radiotherapy was the best option as it was more likely to mop up all cells rather than an operation which could leave some behind to spread at a later date. I had 9 months of Hormone Treatment and a month of radiotherapy and here i am nearly 6 years later with no disease and a PSA of 0.01 so as I was told at the time this has been a "cure" - though you never feel safe as your PSA tests come up.
You are so right about the statistics, never in a million years did I expect this.
The only piece of good news I have had was that the Bone scan came back clear. I'm stage 2 (Gleason 3+4 with bits of 5 running riot). A lot of it is just words and numbers.
I'm sure once you tell your wife and you both have a good cry, you will feel like a weight has been taken away.
I always kept everything bottled up inside, when I told my supervisor at work, it was like a valve had opened up on the top of my head. I could feel the pressure easing. Didn't stop me bursting into tears though.
A coping mechanism for me is to write everything down in a diary. I'm halfway through the second diary now. It's no holds barred, and the language is choice to say the least. A lot of it, I would never say out loud.
Reading it weeks or months later is a treat.
There's no backing out now for me, Tuesday is the first of 20 Radiation sessions.
If I look at it a different way, Tuesday is the beginning of the rest of my life. That sounds good.
You dont say what your Psa is, that can tell u something. You did mention stage 2 which would mean that the cancer is contained within the gland, good news and potentially curable.
I told very few people about my PC but I did tell my partner, u mentioned in your profile that u felt embarrassed to tell your wife but really she is the one person you should confide in.
I know that its a big shock to the system when u find out but it does get easier especially when given a treatment plan,
Truly don't fret about the RT - it's really nothing to worry about. 1.75 hours of hanging around followed by a few minutes having a doze on the table whilst the machine rolls around you!
