Sad and worried hubby has advanced prostate cancer

Hi Nesh 

Welcome to the place where you can ask anything and get as much support as you wish.

I’m sorry to hear about your Hubby but know so little about him.

This is an anonymous site and you can tell us anything. The other thing is that at the top of each page to the left of “Nesh” you can see a green round button which is your very own profile page when you press it.

You can load up a bit of info about you and more importantly your hubbies travels to this cancer with any consultation or treatments as a guide for us to get a more better understanding of how you might be helped.

This is a couples disease and both of you will be equally affected.

The three monthly injections are quite palatable. There’s tiredness and hot flushes but that usually about it.

The three monthly injections needle is a big one so look away. But my nurse slips it in place without any fuss and it’s done in seconds.

I hope that helps.

Good luck

Sorry you have to be here, but welcome.

I suspect some more knowledgeable members will be along shortly to say more info would help frame responses. 

You could add e.g. age, time of events to date, psa, whether biopsies, what surgery etc to your Profile, acced via the chair next to your user name.

Meanwhile, just good luck to you both.

Dave.

Thank you Dave

Hello Mr U, thank you.  I'll add more info.

Hello Nesh 

A warm welcome to the group, although I am so sorry to find you joining us. 

So in simple terms the Hormone Therapy will stop the cancer growing as it will remove your husbands testosterone which is the cancer's food - he can expect side effects from this treatment - but we all get some but not all of the possible side effects, but he can expect fatigue and ED and possibly hot flushes.

Hormone Therapy can weaken your bone structure, so a prescription for Calcium and vitamin D Tablets to prevent this is a good idea.

I am not too sure what type of surgery he "will need" in the summer so are you able to clarify this for us. It would help us to help you both if you could add his PSA readings and Gleason Score and TNM score from the biopsy to his profile. Am I correct to assume the surgery he already has had was a "TURP" operation.

As for the low PSA he could well be a "low secreater" - someone who's PSA can't be relied on to give you a guide to how treatment is working.

I hope the above helps - feel free to ask any questions - nothing is too trivial.

Best wishes - Brian.

Thank you for your reply. Yes, he had Laser surgery then a year later TURP, his Gleason score is 4 +5. I've put more info on my profile.

Hello Nesh, I fully understand your sadness and shock. The prostate cancer diagnosis sure does pull the rug from under our feet and we find our worlds totally turned upside down with our emotions equally turned upside down. Looking back, I recall that time as one of a mixture of shock, fear,  anger and grief. I was so very angry with the NHS in particular because we had delay after delay in appointments etc. I grieved for the life of certainty we had enjoyed up to then - ‘we would live for ever’ had changed and we were forced to face our eventual demise. I was frightened of being left alone and I was frightened of seeing my husband suffer. I should not have been shocked because there is a strong family history for my husband of breast and prostate cancer. But, being told the diagnosis over an unplanned and unexpected phone call did not help! 

so - how did I cope? Well, I found this forum and the support and information I needed. I researched the various treatments etc for prostate cancer. (www.prostatecancer.uk was a good start!). I wrote down questions for which we needed answers. I cried! I cried and cried! I couldn’t stop the tears. At the time we were having to wear masks for hospital appointments! How do you manage tears and a streaming nose behind a mask?!!!

But… perhaps the most important take away for m was that if prostate cancer cannot be cured it can be treated and treated well for many years. I also realised that there are many and better treatments out there than there used to be and that research continues.

Importantly, this all gave us hope when we needed it so very much. Life would possibly go on - and has done! I am sitting here tapping away on my iPad. My husband is out in his man cave. The sun is shining and the daffodils are in bloom. Life is good today! We will enjoy it!

I hope that you, too, will get through the turmoil that a cancer diagnosis brings. Please rest assured that your responses are completely natural and that you are ‘talking’ with people here who understand and will be here for you

<hugs>

Can you give us some more information on your husbands diagnosis. There is a big difference between locally advanced disease and advanced metastatic disease.

The first is still contained in the prostate and has the potential for a curative treatment while the second has spread to other parts of the body and can be effectively managed but not usually cured.

Many men with both types of disease live full and long lives with the disease under control. So don't despair yet the word cancer is scary but you may still have lots to look forward to.

All the best

Sandberg (Rob)

Hi Nesh

Sorry to hear, he's got a lot going on here but had a look through the profile and a couple of bits not clear, 

Does the MRI show cancer has spread outside the gland or not, probably the most important point really,  u say advanced, is that what the MRI shows.

Do u have a Gleeson score or staging  possibly.

Best wishes 

Steve 

Hi Steve, yes it has gone outside I think into the pelvic bone....I could not ask as my husband gets very upset and doesn't want to ask questions or talk about it. The Gleason score is 4 +5.

Thank you so much for talking to me.

Nesh