Ovarian mucinous adenocarcinoma stage 2b

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Hi I'm new to this group and just wondered if anyone could give me some advice, I've never posted on anything before so forgive me if it's in the wrong palce. Iam 25 and diagnosed with ovarian mucinous adenocarcinoma stage 2b.

Last September I had a emergency surgery I was brought through A and E only to find a 44 cm ovarian cyst( or so it was thought). 8 weeks later just 2 days after my nanna passed away I was told it was cancerous. Options were first given to me to try and same some of my eggs from my remaining ovary but when scans were done another cyst was found on the other ovary and due to the uncertainty and the worry of delay of surgery it was decided that egg retrieval was no longer a option and a full hysterectomy with removal of remaining ovary was the best option. After the surgery which took place in December, I was told that the cancer has also spread to the peritoneum which had also been removed when I had the hysterectomy but the cyst on the other ovary was not cancerous.

Due to the cancer spreading to the peritoneum, it was decided the best option would then be to have chemotherapy treatment. Which would use Carboplatin and Paclitexal. 

I won't lie, the chemotherapy has been tough, tougher than I could have ever have imagined. Between reactions while actually having the chemo IV, rashes, nausea, sickness, nerve pain, muscle soreness, overwhelming exhaustion, at times uncontrollable anxiety and just the general feeling of loosing myself as time goes on, I never expected something that can help so much could also take so much away.

I'm happy to say I've nearly finished my chemo and have been told I'm in the clear with checkups taking place for the next five years and I could not be happier and I know I'm truly lucky but Iam also struggling.

I'm struggling with the fear of the cancer returning and due to me having no symptoms before I don't know what to look out for, I'm struggling with daily life as my body has not recovered, I'm struggling with now coming to terms I wont be able to have children, I'm struggling with the sudden onset effects of induced menopause, I feel like now as my treatment is nearly over and I'm thinking of the future the grief of loosing my nanna and fertility are now hitting me, I'm worried I'll be alone for the rest of my life, I'm worried that I'll never look like me again, I feel like I'm now on a time limit constantly, I feel like I'm on my own when I know I do have a truly loving and supportive family and most of all I'm worried that the true me has completely gone for good.

As I have said I know I'm extremely lucky that my treatment and cancer are almost over and I do feel guilty complaining but Im also just feel so unsure of everything at the moment.

If anyone has any advice or if anyone has had the same feelings or even if this is normal I would be very grateful to know .

  • Hi Lucario

    Welcome to the Ovarian group. 

    You are very welcome to post here- so please do not worry. 

    It sounds as if you have had a rough time lately. I am sorry to hear of your Nanna's passing.

    My own cancer was endometrial but I had the same surgery as you and this was followed by the same chemo. 

    How you are feeling now is similar to how I felt after treatment. In my experience you don't just bounce back and it is natural to feel as you do. I found a lot of the processing didn't start until treatment ended. Before that you can be so caught up in all the hospital appointments. Also chemo is not easy and it takes a fair amount of time to recover from. 

    This link may help..........

    "Finding my new normal"- Jane's story - Macmillan Online Community

    Have you considered some counselling? It may help to talk things through. I found Home - Cruse Bereavement Support helpful. 

    I did the HOPE course through Macmillan and I can recommend it. 

    Online HOPE programme for your patients | Macmillan Cancer Support

    There is also a forum on here that may be worth looking at.

    Life after cancer forum | Macmillan Online Community

    Lastly if you feel like you need to talk to someone about how you are feeling, please do give the Support Line a call. They are there from 8am-8pm daily. 

    Hope this helps a bit. I wish you well with your continued recovery. 

    Jane

           

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm