Hi all,
It’s with such a heavy heart and lots of tears that I’m finally sitting down and writing this.
After noticing a lump on my boyfriend’s head on NYE, he’d had a load of diagnostic tests at the start of this year. We didn’t expect anything sinister at all, especially given he has no other symptoms beyond the visible lump on his head, but on 24th April 2026 my boyfriend was diagnosed with a plasmacytoma.
We then had a 3 week long wait where he had a bone marrow biopsy, more blood tests, full body MRI etc to see whether there were any other signs of cancer in his body, in which case it would be classed as Multiple Myeloma instead.
Fortunately, at this stage, it’s just the plasmacytoma they can find, so he had 25 rounds of PBT radiotherapy as his treatment, which finished mid-July.
He is 29 and I’m 28. We have been told by our doctors that the chance of reoccurrence in the future is unknown but likely, given his type of plasmacytoma is his bone rather than soft tissue. If it did show up elsewhere in the future then he would become a MM patient. They have not been positive about the prognosis of MM, which is scary for us being so young.
We are now at the point where we are waiting for his final scans in October to see whether the PBT worked on his plasmacytoma. Fingers crossed this has worked. We know that for the rest of his life we will have scans, bloods and check ups to monitor any progression to MM.
The last few months have been so hard. Going from being a normal couple in their late 20s to dealing with the reality of cancer, cancer treatment and then the threat of an incurable cancer that may or may not hit us at some point in the future, and being told that it probably will be in our lives at some point, we just don’t know when.
We don’t have children yet, but this was something we wanted the think about in the next few years. We’re really at the start of our lives and it feels like the future we pictured is now gone. I’m really struggling with how to deal with everything and the huge uncertainty over what life is going to look like, and when the rug might be pulled out from under our feet again. How can we plan a life and future together with such a grey cloud over everything?
The stress of the past few months has been horrendous. I think it’s only now that his treatment has finished that I’m starting to process everything and realise what has happened, and what this actually all means for us going forward.
I feel so helpless. I actually went to the GP myself because of how awful I have been feeling too since the diagnosis. It turns out I have Graves Disease, and they think the stress of my boyfriend’s cancer news triggered a huge flare up for me. I am now on medication, which should sort me out over the next year.
It just feels like one thing after another, and the victim mentality I now feel like I have makes me feel even worse. I don’t recognise the person I am now, compared with who I was at the start of 2026. We both have good jobs, were achieving loads and absolutely loved life - but the destruction this cancer has caused in our lives is immense.
I don’t really know what to do. I speak to friends, but no one can relate to the situation. We know how rare it is to have a plasmacytoma, or MM, at this age, and we don’t have anyone in the same position who we can talk to who will understand the problems, worries and concerns that we have. I never thought I would need professional help, but maybe I should seek this out now that the dust has settled with his treatment.
I suppose I wanted to post here in the hopes someone might be in a similar boat. I’m sorry that any of us are in these boats at all, but at least it’s a bit less lonely doing it together.
Sending love to you all.
