Dads diagnoses and the devastated daughter.

Hi HayHay and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

I'm really sorry to read how you're feeling since your dad has told you he has terminal cancer. I don't have the right experiences to share with you, as I was the one with cancer, but can I recommend that you join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group as you'll then connect directly with others who are in a similar situation to yourself.

To join just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

Sending virtual ((hugs))

Thank you. I feel all over the place.

All i can think is "if this is how i feel, i dare not think about how my dad is feeling".

I'm so sorry for you diagnosis. I can not even to begin to imagine how hard this is for you. 

I have joined the group you suggested and I will make a post there too. 

Again thank you. 

Sending big hugs to you too. x

Thank you for the hugs

I think in some ways it's easier when you're the one dealing with the illness rather than watching someone else go through it. I always hate to see my husband unwell and feel totally useless whereas when it's me dealing with it, well I just kind of get on with it I suppose.

Take care x

Hi Hay Hay,

I’m very sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis. My dad was diagnosed with meso in December 2021 and it was devastating news and when I first heard the news I couldn’t cope. 

In regards to coping i find some days are more difficult than other days, however, when time went on I accepted he had what he had, as at first I couldn’t accept it. I spoke to people on here which also helped. I found it was important to also still carry on with life and keep enjoying time with my dad. Don’t get me wrong days I still have moments, but I think when time goes on coping will get better. 

Getting up the next day I found hard, however, I find it does help to keep busy. At first I couldn’t and it made me feel worst. So it’s important to find something in life you are excited about and I’m sure your dad would also want you to support him, however, also live your life too. 

You’re not missing anything, I’ve cried myself to sleep many times. Try and stay strong for your dad, that’s what I’ve been doing at the moment. When my dad could see I was sad it made him feel worst. 

I’m happy to speak if you need to, i understand what you are going through, and I know how tough it really is. 

I wish your dad all the best with his treatment. 

sky xx

Sending you a big hug , when my dad was diagnosed last year my world just fell apart, what I do now is just take each day at a time , also exercise is helping me I do a lot of cycling ( and a good bottle of wine once a week also helps) make sure you talk to people about it . You will get through be kind to yourself xx

Hello, 

I struggled with my husband’s diagnosis.  The chemo worked but then the cancer grew back. However we now have a game changer ! Immunotherapy! My husbands cancer has shrunk after only 5 sessions approx. 50% and in the mediastinal disappeared.

is this something your dad can consider having ? We feel we have our lives back …..

Hello 

I just wondered how quickly your husband responded to immunotherapy and was this to treat mesothelioma?
thanks loads

my dad starts his treatment tomorrow

xx 

Hello, yes to treat mesothelioma, good response was after 4 or 5 treatments, so quick we couldn’t believe it.  Treatments are every 2 weeks. This week he has his 2nd scan to check the treatment is still working … I always get nervous.

again my husband has no side effects but he does have such a positive outlook and keeps very. busy  living life to the full !  Right now you would not know  there was anything wrong at all. 

he did loose his appetite  for the first 2/3 treatments, so they give him anti nausea solution intravenous just before his treatment, works a treat ! 

Good luck for you with your dad…. Let him know our positive experience. 

That is so positive and I am truly happy for all. 
he has been scheduled three appointments and they are tomorrow and then two more three weeks apart. 

im just hoping it helps as the pain he is in at the moment is horrendous! 

Good luck with the scan 

vic xx 

Is your dad having the 2 immunotherapy drugs ? Ipi & pemb ? My husband 1 drug for 2 of the treatment dates then both drugs on the 3rd then the cycle starts again,  every 2 weeks