Lost my dad to Mesothelioma

So sorry for your loss my husband passed in October 22 2023 was diagnosed with in August of 2023 so be didn’t have long he only had 3 treatments of immunotherapy before he passed it is a horrible disease and he was suffering. So it was a blessing to see him at peace and no more pain. I wish he had 9 years. Instead of 3 months. My husband was only 67.I still have a hard time believing he is gone I miss him so much. Sending you hugs.

I'm so sorry to hear that, it really is an awful disease.

I didn't mean to sound insensitive, I know we were very very lucky that he got 9 years and that is absolutely not the norm with this disease. It shouldn't be such a shock that's he's gone, but it felt as though the longer he lived, the more we thought he would somehow overcome it.

I am glad you got the time with your dad it’s unusual for anyone to have that long with this disease. I know it’s still hard to except that you have lost him.  Think of all the good times you had with him lots of love and hugs.

Hi, 

I am really sorry to hear your very sad news. I understand how you feel I lost my dad on the 10th October 2024. 

my dad also had immunotherapy and it didn’t work, after this he went on a trial and at first the trial seemed to be helping and then he got a lost worst and everything seemed to go wrong for him.

I found it hit me hard after 6-8 weeks, I guess it sinks in, so understand how you feel with the term ‘starting to feel real’ it is truly an awful disease and the end is truly heartbreaking. 

I have replayed the end too, however, finding recently I am getting good thoughts coming back to me, as in before he was sick. 

Same here, I miss my dad so much. So I know how you feel. I guess we have to stay strong, this is what people keep telling me. X

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your kind words. You know exactly how I'm feeling.

I'm really glad to hear that you are able to remember the good times. I am trying to do that, but even memories of happier times makes me sad at the moment. I guess I'm not yet in a place that I can just remember those times fondly.

How old was your dad when he passed? Did he have much time between diagnosis and passing? X

I understand what you mean about remembering good times and the way they can make you sad. It was my dad’s birthday the other day and I found that really tough, as it was the first one without him.

My dad was 72 when he passed. How old was your dad when he passed away? 
My dad was diagnosed December 2021, however, started getting symptoms in July 2021 and was going for loads of tests. When was your dad diagnosed? 

I feel so angry about this disease and keep thinking if it was not that this he would still be here. Do you get that? As in the anger? x

My dad was 71, very similar age to your dad. He was diagnosed in 2016 so he did have a long time, which was really lucky. I know I should feel so grateful for that, and I do, but it has at the same time been 9 years of stress and worry, with constant treatments and scans he's had to go through.

He did remarkably well the majority of the 9 years since diagnosis, but I'd say the last year or so is when he started going downhill rapidly and really struggled.

I totally get the anger. It feels so unfair that anyone should get this disease. My dad didn't work in the trade and had no idea where he may have been exposed to asbestos. It makes me angry that asbestos even stil exists.

Yes, similar age. 9 years is a long time, however, it doesn’t make it any easier and yes I understand the worry about treatment and going for scans, it was a constant worry. 

One doctor said to my dad how he done well lasting this long, I was there when he said it and found it quite insulting, so did my dad I remember, as he didn’t feel very lucky. 

same with my dad, in regards to the last year he went downhill quickly, it is truly awful. 

sorry your dad didn’t work in the industry and yes it is awful that asbestos is still out there. My dad was in the industry and worked with it a lot back in the day, but it isn’t clear what job he got it from, but he was a plumber and I think mostly plumbers got it, however, not sure. 

That is absolutely insulting. It does seem to be the view of a lot of medical professionals though. We have had similar interactions, it feels as though some of them just give up on anyone with this diagnosis. I'm sorry that you and your dad had that experience with a doctor.

Thanks for messaging. Whilst I wouldn't wish this on anyone,.it is comforting in a way to hear from people in the same boat.

So sorry for your loss.  I lost my husband on 31 January he was diagnosed with Mesothelioma in May 2023 - he started immunotherapy in August 2023 but it was stopped in December due to complications - he was then offered chemo which didn’t start until May 2024 - he only had 3 sessions which didn’t really do anything - was then offered a first in human clinical trial - started 2 December 2024 and began to deteriorate 19 December - he had a scan and things had grown massively and new extensive nodules so the trial was stopped - he passed away in the hospice on 31 January.  I miss him so much it’s been 7 weeks & it feels like it has only just hit me - I feel your pain.