Husband Stage 4 Melanoma

Hi FairyQueen x, I’m sorry to hear about your husband and equally how difficulty this time must be for you. I’m making the assumption that his Dr has advised him that he has to surrender his driving licence as I’m of the impression from the DVLC site that it’s the general advice given with brain tumours and must be scary if he has forgotten that he’s no longer allowed to.

The first thing I did when I was told I was incurable back in 2015 was sort out wills and power of attorney then continue to hope for the best, so I can understand if your husband is in denial. I needed to have an all important talk with my husband about what we wanted to know and how open we wanted to be with each other. We were both acting at first as if all emotions had been cut off, we needed a talk and a cuddle, I’d gone straight to stage 4 with an unknown primary but I had not got major organ involvement. I have met people through going to a few melanoma patient conferences who have become stable and some no evidence of disease with brain tumour involvement and they all wanted to know as much as possible but then live in the moment to enjoy life, and can be hard to change that time perspective, to say things may happen within uncertain time frames that drs may give and are dependant on reaction to treatments ahead.

I see you have joined the carers only forum so I’m sure people in there will have had a similar talk or perhaps the Supporting someone with incurable cancer forum may help with feelings similar to what you are going through.

Good luck for Thursdays scan and for the wait for results.