Lung Cancer

A support group for anyone affected by lung cancer to come together, share experiences, and ask questions.

Books to explain better to children when someone close dies

gio41uk
Posted by

Hi,

I didn't really know where to ask this and as im part of this group i thought ill try here. I've mentioned before my wife has terminal lung cancer, right now we dont no how long.

We've had a nice holiday recently and starts back treatment next week.

My worries is trying to explain to my beautiful 4 year old granddaughter when the day comes, my wife loves her so much and my granddaughter, well what can i say loves my wife so much. I have asked my son to start taking her to Sunday school which i thought might help but i was wondering if theres books out there my wife could read to her to help with the future coming.

They can be about explaining where people go after dying or about god and angels, maybe something thats easy for a child to understand, im sure there must be books out there and thought id ask on here.

thanks for any help

luv George

buttercup01
Posted by

Macmillan do   a booklet" Talking to children and teenagers when an adult has cancer"

https://be.macmillan.org.uk/be/s-617-talking-about-cancer.aspx?ProductTypeFilterID=144

Ideally, u want a  picture book. I'm a (retired)i ibrarian but cannot think of of one. I'll carry on thinking ..

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
buttercup01
Posted by
Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
buttercup01
Posted by
Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
buttercup01
Posted by

https://herts.spydus.co.uk/cgi-bin/spydus.exe/FULL/OPAC/BIBENQ/76408660/71392922,17

https://herts.spydus.co.uk/cgi-bin/spydus.exe/FULL/OPAC/BIBENQ/76417131/368951000,24

https://herts.spydus.co.uk/cgi-bin/spydus.exe/FULL/OPAC/BIBENQ/76417131/320405226,48

Hope these are useful  If not, get back to me

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
The BODACH
Posted by

Hi George

I'm very sorry to hear about your wife.

Talking to children about someone dying is never easy. Trying to find the right words, the setting for the talk, how will it affect the child's emotions are all things that are difficult to address.

Perhaps your wife and granddaughter could start a memory box that will help her remember your wife, maybe your wife could slip in a letter to be read by your granddaughter when the day comes.

For some ideas Macmillans making a memory box might be of help.

Winston's Wish charity sell boxes

You were asking about books the following charities have suggested book titles

Winston's wish 

Child Bereavement Uk

When someone is not expected to live

Marie Curie  - books for Children about Death

When your parent has cancer This comes from the USA is intended for teens but if might be of interest

Amazon have a number of books on talking to children.

Your local library may have a section on the subject.

I hope the above is of interest, but George how are you coping with it all, do you have any support to help you look after your wife. As the days go on it is important that you look after yourself. I see that you have joined the Supporting someone with incurable cancer Group and this is a very safe place for you to come to and discuss your concerns, have a rant or rave, lett off steam (who doesn't need to that a some time!) or come in for a chat, the members are all very friendly and supportive towards each as are the members of our Carers only where you will be amongst people who are looking after their loved ones and need to chat or get advice or help.

If I can be of any further help please give me a shout, I'm not usually in this group but you can find me the carers group amongst other.

Ian

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buttercup01
Posted by

Btw, the links r to Herts library website, but was just easiest way to send u the book details

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
buttercup01
Posted by

Badger's parting gifts, in the Marie Curie list, is a lovely book too

Take care of yourself George x

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
gio41uk
Posted by

this sounds good, thanks for your help buttercup

gio41uk
Posted by

thanks Ian,

ive took note of all your links and put in a notepad to view anytime. My wife was diagnosed a year past May,so approx 16 months, i work from home nearly all the time. Shes still looking good apart from losing a lot of weight, she did put a good bit back on as we were away for 10 days in Majorca all inclusive and a break from treatment, she had a week in hospital a couple of weeks before we went due to treatment, just floored her, different things, would take too long to explain.

Treatment starts again this week and its been reduced by 25% to see if it helps with side affects, no one got side affects from her treatment but she seemed to get them. I see the odd changes regular like weird coughs and her voice changing slightly like someone has a sore throat but im guessing its her Lymph nodes, apart from lungs she has there and adenoids , was in her breast also, lots of the tumours shrunk greatly and the beatson doctor was shocked how well it worked but i see other changes.

I just dont know how to take every day apart from waken up and get on like nothings wrong but yes its hard for me, i will need help, i know that for sure,its just not hitting me hard enough yet, well most days im fine.

my priority is my wife and when i think about my granddaughter and how she stayed on Saturday night and we have her each week it breaks me down inside, my son and daughter feel it also but we get on with it for my wifes sake.

i also have an insurance policy that has terminal illness and wouldnt pay out untill they say my wife only has 12 months to live and i cant bring myself to ask the doctor but want to stop working then to spend it on her but i cant bring myself to say to the doctor or also mention it while my wife is there as it makes things more final.

anyway ill stop going on, as im on my late lunch break and the wife has just came in.

thanks for everything

george

gio41uk
Posted by

thanks buttercup ive took note of all your useful info