Hi, i have jumped in because i can see you have not had a response from anyone in this group. I have secondary cancer although not in my liver but in my bones. What advice are you looking for exactly.
Hi thanks for reaching out would like any advice on how i can be the best support for my daughter..how to control my mind racing off keep thinking what she's going through etc hope you've had a good day
Hi, i really feel for you both at this horrible time, its never easy hearing this diagnosis. In answer to how you can best support your daughter. Its very difficult as we are all different but for me it was for someone to listen and just allow me to ramble on about all the things i have to deal with that day. There will be a lot to take in at first and she will get anxious and stressed so just having someone to air this with is so important. My sister was my go to and she just listened and and did not ask to many questions. Having someone asking all the time "whats happening " is annoying as you dont have the answers yourself and can get a little upsetting. Positivity is great i am definatly all for it, but when you are first diagnosed its difficult to see this so dont give up on it but maybe tone it down a bit. I have found a lot of cancer patients try to protect their parents so as not to upset them and only tell them what they think they can handle. Please dont get to upset if this happens its meant in the kindest of ways. Its early days and there will be many appointments and a lot of ups and downs. There are many treatments out there and new ones coming all the time. I have had cancer for 20 years and secondary for 4 years its called living with cancer and we do, its not all doom and gloom. One thing you both must not do is google it, its all outdated and will scare you both unnecessarily. I can not imagine how you are feeling, being strong for your daughter will be exhausting at times. What you must try to remember is to look after yourself as you will be no help if you are poorly too. As a family it will all get a lot easier when you and your daughter get a treatment plan this really helps as its the inknown that freaks us all out. You wont think this now but i promise it does get easier she will feel more in control of her treatment. I can only wish you both the very best in the future take care
Thank You so much for taking the time to talk to me it has been a big help she had liver biopsy today her doctors are calling her next Friday to advise us of the game plan thanks again for your advice.. can't thank you enough
Hi, Im 47yrs old and have recently been diagnosed with secondary liver cancer (primary colon) The biggest worry for me was the thought of my family worrying about me. We are all different but I didn't want people fussing all the time and always talking about it. Things that have helped me... A simple message/phone call before any appt/scan asking if they would like you to be there, she may or may not want you to come but knowing you are always there willing is comforting. If feeling sad, I personally don't want someone constantly talking and being super positive telling me all will be OK, I just want a hug. Someone who is there just listening if I'm having a moment really helps me. I know my family care and are just worried but I hate the guilt I feel knowing its because of me they are feeling that way, so try not to put your own worries onto her. I personally don't want to be talking about cancer all the time and I like to keep myself busy.
My family are definitely doing more little gestures and it means so much. My son has started to defrost my car in the mornings, My Daughter will take the bins out without being asked, Hubby will randomly stop me to just hold me and kiss my forehead when im more quiet than usual. A blanket appears over me if I nod off on the sofa. They don't need to be constantly asking me if I'm feeling ok because you end up on autopilot and just say yes, I'm fine anyway! Just being there, helping with the little things...You can't control what is happening to her cancer but you can help make life that little bit easier for her to cope with it better.
Hi as a dad l feel so utterly destroyed but just want to be best i can be for my daughter trying to take day at a time only diagnosed few days ago not sure what future holds..thank you for the post
I am probably behind you in terms of my partner's cancer. She was diagnosed a week ago with secondary liver cancer. We've been utterly shocked by the news. Literally every waking minute it is running through my head. More because I want to protect and help her but I can't do much really other than listen. And she's not talking much about it.
We've got her first oncology appointment today which feels terrifying. I am hoping they tell us they can do a liver resection but,after a few instances of them missing opportunities to spot the cancer three months ago, I am not hopeful.
Any tips on how you are coping and providing support?
It been about 6 weeks since this all kicked off and we have adjusted this is now our new normal.. my daughter has just started chemo as of now no surgery on offer she been inspired by others in the chemo ward which has fed into us we are living in the now more that's for sure being positive is the key one thing she most definitely wants is to be treated normally like before any of this and don't be offending if you get told..the dark moments are there but not as overwhelming.. just hang in there and keep pinching what are the choices
