Hi, my 63 year old father passed away this week as a result of secondary liver cancer, the primary was bowel cancer (which had also spread to his lungs, though the oncologists regarded the tumours on his lungs with far less concern than those on his liver). He was diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2007, after having almost no symptoms until the 11th hour (he was severely constipated for over a week all of a sudden, which led to severe vomiting, casualty, a hospital stay of two nights and 28cm bowel obstruction successfully removed and the results of the tumour take out were malignant - this was back in Autumn 2007). Despite having two rounds of chemo over the two years, the first didn't work too well, the second did work in shrinking tumours but my father was taken of it on cycle 8 out of 12 as side effects of the drug threatened to kill him with a life threatening stroke or heart attack - he developed a blood clot on his lung. Signs of this clot were him not being able to lie down on his side one night, and a bit of pain there - though he never described that as agonising so be aware. The oncologist said that was an unusual reaction to the chemo drug. He then was offered a little hope toward the end of this summer with the potential to go on a drug trial, with a renowned professor, though he was never accepted on this as it was deemed to dangerous in light of blood test results relating to liver function. My father spent virtually all of his 2 years with cancer taking the dog on long walks, flying long haul to visit me in New York twice, getting on public transport, walking lots over there, going to the pub to meet his friends for a pint once a week, going on holidays to Scotland doing lots of walking with my mam, socialising with friends and family and retaining his friendly, cheerful, gentleman like demeanour. No tears EVER, no bad moods, no depressing talks or even mention of prognosis, perhaps a little more prone to tiredness than usual. Fast forward to a month ago, when I came to visit him from NY - he was suddenly out of the blue a lot more tired and exhausted. He'd been taking steroids about 2 weeks prior to my visit and recently come off then. He was also on the blood thinner warfarin which needs careful monitoring. During my stay he was admitted to hospital, with suspect internal bleeding - they though the pain in his side was a result of misbalance of warfarin and perhaps the extreme tiredness as a result of suddenly being taken off steroids. He was immediately put back on steroids, and the warfarin adjusted - but no avail, as he continued to visit the his weekly warfarin clinic they just couldn't seem to get the balance of his dose right and his INR (which measures the clotting ability of his blood) was off the acceptable scale most of the time. A misbalance of drugs masked the fact that liver failure was taking its effect. The whites of his eyes became slightly jaundiced about 3 weeks ago but just his eyes. As a week progressed his face was a shade of jaundice. He remained his normal self but VERY tired, and took tramadol the pain killer only occasionally (say every two days for a 'stitch like pain that wouldn't go away in his side'). I returned to New York, but last Saturday after knowing my Dad had been increasingly tired received a call from my mother saying Dad had been admitted to hospital. He'd had a bad nights sleep on the Friday night, was a little disorientated and on Saturday afternoon when the on call GP reached him at our home he failed a basic coordination test which involved aligning his hands together - the doctor said it was best to admit him into hospital for tests. Dad was admitted to an 'acute care ward' as it was a weekend. I've since heard if it had been a weekday, they may have admitted him into a hospice for a night or two for assessment instead. He had a side room, and was the sickest on the ward by far - everyone else was in wards and were able to hold cups by themselves, talk in full sentences and achieve some sound sleep but not my Dad. By Saturday he was writhing on a bed grabbing the cot sides in pain, he was still talking but with one word answers or very short sentences. By Sunday I was on route to the UK on a plane, meanwhile my mother stayed up all night with my father as he was deteriorating so rapidly, he was down to one word answers and had to use a bedpan for the bathroom or a commode - he was bedridden. He was still taking his medication - steroids, pain killer, anti indigestion etc orally - they were all syrups and able to eat very soft food, like soggy wheatabix or ice cream which was one of the few things he seemed to enjoy at this stage. I arrived on Monday morning at 8am, I took a deep breath and walked into his hospital room. He slowly, slowly turned his head to look at me, his eyes were deep yellow and his skin was a definite yellow, his face a little bloated and the dejected, fed up look in his expression was one of the most remarkable things. I'd never seen such suffering in a man right before my eyes in my life. I held it together for him, as I was conscious not to heighten any anxiety I'm sure he must have felt, told him I loved him and my Dad reach out to hug me and said 'good' in reply. He was totally lucid just so exhausted he was unable to express himself or his wishes properly. As the day progressed my mother went home, leaving me with Dad as she had to urgently let the Macmillan delivery guys into our house to deliver a hospital bed, a commode, a table for a patient to eat off. It took until 5pm for the special ambulance to arrive and for his drugs to come from the pharmacy for him to be discharged. He was sent home with drugs suitable to administers via a syringe driver, for when he wouldn't be able swallow. The discharge process was a mess. He had a yellow prescription chart for the drugs for the driver which we had to take home, it had to be signed off by a Doctor - so a district nurse visiting our home could simply fit the syringe driver whenever my father reached the stage of not being able to swallow drugs orally. The nurses at the hospital checked over the form and said it was good to go - but we later discovered it wasn't, there was a second section which hadn't been signed off by a doctor. After eating tiny spoonfuls of yoghurt on Monday evening and having deep sleep on Monday night, when my father 'woke up' (he wouldn't open his eyes and was in a semi coma, though he did scream out when carers handled his severely swollen legs to wash him) Most significantly he was unable to swallow drugs orally, and I had to waste a lot of time with phone calls back and forth to my GP's surgery to get district nurses out to him immediately (I was told to ring the nurses direct myself, the nurses told me for them to arrive as an emergency the GP had to dispatch them..) After time wasted with these calls the nurses arrived to tell me they could only count the drugs and could not administer them until the doctor arrived. Fortunately I made the judgement call to get the on call Doctor out as an emergency in addition to this, as I mentioned to her on the phone his breathing was becoming laboured and that we were NOT achieving the goal of making sure he was comfortable. It was around midday and he'd had NO medication just a droplet or two or oramorph the pain killer. The doctor arrived and completed the incomplete prescription chart. The driver was fitted, with the syringe in my fathers hand. I was told as it was subcutaneous it would take around 30 mins or so to kick in and the drugs given were a sedative (which I was most concerned with as I hated the thought of him panicking about dying and what the next step after death is), morphine for pain and anti sickness drug. The nurses and doctor left about 20 minutes later, and after a few moments my father opened his eyes for the first time that day and just stared as if unable to focus. My mother and I were holding his hands, kissing him, telling him he wasn't alone ever and how much we loved him. He then shut his eyes again and took his last few breaths, very peacefully..and that was the end. This is a long story and still so fresh. His funeral hasn't even happened yet. I've learnt so much from it though and in short, I'd say that a most of the time liver failure will eventually become evident where a liver secondary is concerned. First of all when jaundice comes, this is a sign of a build of a the waste product bilirubin in the blood, which the liver normally expels into the bowels - giving poo a brownish red colour. Poos become white, whilst eyes first then skin takes on a yellow tinge. Urine will become red looking, as if blood is in it - but the strong colour is the bilirubin. When these symptoms show, this means liver failure is already very WELL advanced. Dad was becoming exhausted complaining "I just want my energy back" - he didn't want to drive his beloved car or even get out of the car for a breath of fresh air when my mam drove to the beach to let the dog out. He couldn't manage a walk around the block, where as he could 2 weeks before he died. Severe tiredness is also a sign. Then comes acute liver failure, at this stage Dad was becoming a little confused but remained totally lucid - the confusion was very subtle in his case - he'd ask the same question twice in a short space of time and went into the wrong bedroom after getting up for the toilet in the night (though my Mam had just swapped his bedroom to another room earlier that evening, so again subtle signs of confusion). Eventually my Dad simply became too weak to talk, walk, sleep properly, eat or drink. He went from walking talking eating and drinking to being bedridden writhing in pain, unable to talk in a matter of 4 days. I also think he may have hung on longer suppressing his pain and demise waiting for me to arrive from the USA to see him. He was so brave in the face of it all and considerate to the end, looking pleased saying 'good' when I told him my mam and me were going to have a lie down after 2 days of no sleep the night before he died. His legs were very swollen and so painful to touch he cried out when he was moved. He writhed around a lot unable to get comfortable and clung onto much needed cot sides of the hospital bed. The bed delivered to our home didn't have cot sides so we had to line up two arm chairs against it to stop him from falling out and my mam broke down in tears holding his swollen legs. I forgot to mention that only my mam and I were with him at home during discharge, I am in the third trimester of pregnancy and we were left alone with him at home in a state of discomfort until district nurses arrived at 8pm. Fortunately my uncle who's a GP arrived earlier and helped reposition him - you need 2 able bodied people to move and reposition a 12 stone sick man - you don't realise how much they writhe around into uncomfortable and potentially dangerous positions. A consultant told my mam my Dad was dying on Saturday night but why a Macmillan nurse was not with us to over see his discharge I don't know. Our Macmillan nurse was lovely, but she came after my father passed away - about 30 minutes later. The Monday night before my father's death, he was watched by Macmillan carers NOT qualified nurses. They were lovely women - but it was so close to the end someone should have been on hand to inject him with a pain killer if needs be. There was a big boo boo with his yellow prescription chart for the drugs administered by the syringe driver - no one took ownership over my Dad's case on the acute care ward at the hospital, and though some staff were exceptional - others were a little clueless tending to talking eating drinking patients in a communal ward, before my dying father in a side room alone with his pregnant daughter. He couldn't talk or eat properly, or drink without a baby's cup being held up to him. Some nurses just didn't use common sense or experience to set their priorities straight. So my advice in short to anyone caring for a patient with a liver secondary which is terminal is: Don't focus on prognosis -there are so many good times my Dad and I had while he had cancer, it didn't stop him from being him and enjoying life until right up until the end really ( I mean 3 weeks before his death). Look out for any signs of liver failure - I mentioned them earlier such as the jaundice etc. When this comes you know the end isn't in the distant future - I'm talking weeks. At this stage be brave and get Macmillan and your assigned nurse as heavily involved as possible. Look out for signs of acute liver failure - severe tiredness, the onset of which seems to happen quickly, very subtle signs of slight disorientation or confusion. It may just be being slower in response to questions or sounding unenthusiastic and a lot quieter than usual on the telephone etc. At this stage go through a checklist of equipment in your mind - you will want your loved one to be comfortable at home at the end and you will need things like: a baby beaker to drink straws oral syringe A large plastic washing up bowel to fill up with hot water to wash patient in bedside. New Sponges At least 3 new sheets for a single bed, patient is most comfortable with thin sheets. 2-3 fitted sheets for a single bed. Clean towels. Baby Wipes. Antiseptic Wipes Dentyl Alcohol free double layer mouthwash (helps with oral thrush common at this stage) - don't bother with this during the very later stages, you don't want the patient to swallow it. Pineapple//Orange Juice Ice-Cream Favourite Foods Bottled water Still Little sponges on sticks to dip in water or pineapple juice to freshen and clean the mouth - district nurses a bed pan - district nurses provide catheter tubes - district nurses Incontinence pads - district nurses Ask Macmillan social worker about ordering a hospital bed WITH COT SIDES (essential), a commode and table to eat off that hangs over the bed, in advance. Think about close family members that the patient would take comfort in having bedside for this harrowing experience. Deterioration will last not much longer than a week if acute liver failure sets in - although all patients are different, it's a given that liver failure can be as quick as 48 hours in some cases. As signs of liver failure progress, to pain and restlessness you will need 2 able bodied adults to be present at all times to reposition and help lift the patient. If a patient is in hospital or a hospice - you will need 2 able bodied adults to help settle the patient into their home on the day of discharge. If you don't have family or friends suitable for this very personal close experience, contact Macmillan and say you would like a nurse plus at least one carer present. Be pushy and adamant about this - your job is to hold the patients hand and reassure them, otherwise you'll be running round frantically making calls, searching for equipment and struggling to move the patient compromising their lovely of comfort and your precious time with them during their final days. I'd try to source most of the equipment in private in advance so patient doesn't know, but it's important to have your house well stocked as deterioration can happen overnight and take you by surprise. Also think well in advance about rearranging your house. We didn't want to move furniture until last minute for psychological reasons - we thought my Dad would think we were assuming he was ready to die if we put a bed downstairs too soon. However, I wish we'd moved furniture in advance to make space for a bed, even if the bed wasn't there until later on. Finally, before patient is discharged from hospital the most important drugs are the drugs for the syringe driver. As it is a given that eventually patient will not be able to swallow eventually. The syringe driver drugs are in boxes and they come with a YELLOW PRESCRIPTION CHART WHICH YOU SHOULD PRESENT TO A DOCTOR OR HOSPITAL PHARMACIST TO ENSURE IT HAS BEEN PROPERLY SIGNED OFF FOR (otherwise when you're panicking because patient is in pain and unable to swallow at home, district nurses will not be able to give the drug unless it was signed off for - this could leave a patient in pain for 30 mins or more waiting for an emergency on call doctor to arrive to sign a piece of paper). A high level nurse told me our yellow slip was adequately signed off for in the hospital but it wasn't. It is well worth noting that my Dad was lucid until the end This is such a long post but it's a reflection of just how much there is to coordinate near the end and how important it is to be proactive and anticipate it YOURSELF because Doctors nurses, and MacMillan nurses won't do it for you. They will not spell it out or commit to saying how quick it will be, as yes it's different for the individual. You do not want to be left vulnerable, MacMillan nurses can be really helpful but you need to chase this help, it is not readily available and largely depends upon factors such as how efficient your social worker is and if he/she has good foresight and can handle a busy schedule with an air of control. Beware that YOU will be assessing the situation and making important judgement calls yourself. Make it clear if you don't have home help and demand it, don't be proud.
Hi Will, Angie and Rosie. I've wanted to reply to your postings but haven't been at home much as I've going up to be with my mum (and have no e-mail access when away from home). Over the last couple of weeks a lot has happened. My mum is still hanging on but for how much longer we wish we knew. Her mobility became greatly reduced (her low back ache became very bad and constant so walking became very painful). My sister and I tried so hard so get 24 hour care and in the end her Dr suggested a hospice for some pain and symptom control. We were so relieved when he asked the Macmillan nurse to sort out. Then came the devastating news - there was no bed. In the end my sister and I had to learn the role of being a 24 hour carer overnight and stayed with her whilst we waited for a bed.
Carers did come in for a short while to her home in the day but the nights were hard. Then Monday a week ago the hospice rang early morning and a day earlier than we thought I had to quickly pack her bag for her stay. It was rushed but positive tho' my mum at this point wasn't really keen on a stay (however short) away from home.
As soon as she arrived at the hospice the assessments began along with the care we'd been waiting for. She had to go for an MRI scan at a nearby hospital that day as they were worried the tumor may have been pressing on the spinal cord. That trip and the whole ordeal of the MRI scan was so painful for my mum that I found it hard seeing her go through that- she was very ill afterwards but we knew they needed the scan results to help. The good news is that there didn't appear to be nerve issues but it was confirmed the cancer has spread to the bones in the lower back which is causing all the pressure and pain. (She already had bowel and secondary liver cancer which was sprreading tto the adrenal galnds and possibly the lung and we knew this in June- but she had not many symptoms amazingly at this time).
My mum has moved from dozing a lot during last week to now being much more alert and lucid and we're back to having real conversations and she's eating a bit more (as long as she isn't sick -the drugs are being changed to try and stablise). I have noticed in the last couple of days the pain appears to be moving to her legs now and when she does move it is very very painful for her. There is a suggestion to have one burst of radiotherapy to try and help the pain. My mum and we were not at all keen initially as it would mean her having to have a 20 min journey to the nearest cancer hopsital for that treatment and we all felt why put her through pain for some possible pain relief but nothing more. We are now being 'persuaded' by the conusltant that we should seriously consider especially as the pain is going down her legs. It may happen Friday this week and I'll go with her but will dread seeing her being in more pain just to have a treatment that can't help prolong her life and may help in the near future.
The one sad and disappointing thing for us is that the hospice yesterday (in a meeting that appears to be a 'family meeting' with my mum and my sister and I tho' no one told us) have said they are unable to let my mum stay at the hospice for end of life care and they're now seeking funding for one of 2 local nursing homes that have palliative care beds. My mum is so comfortable at the hospice and has her own little patio to look out on she feels safe there and cared for. So tomorrow, my sister and I are having to look at the homes to have our questions answered to ensure she'll receive the best care and medical care for her remaining weeks. (We've been led to believe it will be weeks rather than months but as you have all said we just don't know). If funding comes through (and they believe it will) she could be moved sometime next week. The hospice staff and care has been great to date but yesterday the consultant told my mum in this meeting she wouldn't be able to go home as 24hour care wouldn't be able to be provided and it wouldn't be practical and no one offered any support to my mum or my sister and I. (My sister and I feel going home wouldn't be right for her but didnt expect her to be told outright before we'd had a chance to talk to her and preapre the path for the future). My mum is so strong but to be told she would never see her home again through a meeting in her room is more than disappointing and is so insentitive. My mum said she knew she was very ill but had tried to block out things and felt the 'end' was a long long way off and yesterday the term terminal was used and made her realise how close things could be (tho' she believes it's months). We have now had to ask if someone can see her today to provide some emotional support. We seem to have been unlucky, in that to date we've had to ask for everything and no one offers anything to us. The situation is hard enough without being left on your own to wade through the emotional rollercoaster cancer presents. We stay strong but I just cried travelling back on the train yesterday. Having some of this support that all the publications talk about would have been nice. Your'e so tired that just keeping going is hard enough so that fighting for something else is more trouble than it's worth.
So, I'm back up tomorrow (the hospice and care homes are about 2 1/2 - 3 hours train journey away from where I live) and will take it from there. I pack a bag and don't completley unpack it when I come home ready for the next trip. When I am at home I find it hard to settle as I feel unhappy being away from my mum and am always waiting for a call and feel on edge worrying about her. My husband and daughter are great and I know it's school holidays so she's out with friends in the day, but it is difficult leading 2 different lives every day/ week.
Rosie I'm so sorry for your loss, you're sounding so brave .I'm glad as you say that your dad passed away peacefully and relatively quickly as I'm sure it was such a hard time for all you seeing that deterioartion.I would like to e-mail you Rosie as you offered some insight into what happened and what to expect and I would appreciate that but don't know how to conatct you. Can anyone help me with the process to do that through the site? I'll then do that when I'm next back at home.
Angie, take care, the moments we have have with our loved ones are so cherished and it is so hard not knowing how long we have with them. It's just a day at a time which I know is very hard and puts a strain on everyone. I've tried to get a prognosis and I think the only thing we know is that there is limited time and things will only deteriorate.
Will, again thank you for being so caring and for being there. Restricted by not having e-mail when I'm away from home means keeping in contact is hard but I look forward to keeping in touch as you all provide so much support which we all need.
My love and a virtual hug goes out to everyone and it's so good to have this group to share and be together at our diffferent stages.....Thank you for being there.
Love Shaz x
Dear Shaz
Im so sorry you are having such a difficult time and Im a bit shocked about the Hospice not taking your Mum.This is a bad enough thing for them to deal with without unnecessary insensitivity.You sound like you are doing brilliantly and you are going to cry like that dont worry,you are under so much stress.
My Mum was also told laterrly that she only had weeks and up until then she had believed she might still beat it,we could never believe it would ever happen.I hope that they sort out somewhere suitable for your Mum.Its important that she is not distressed or you.
Im afraid I cant help you with the radiotherapy decision.My Mum was offered chemo towards the end and did 2 cycles which were like hell for her and she hated it.The previous year she had radiotherapy after the initial bowel op and although not an enjoyable experience was managable.
I really understand your anxiety at being away from your Mum.I felt exactly the same and could hardly think of anything or anyone else.
I really wish you all the best and will be thinking of you.
Love Will
Hi Shaz
Thanks to you and everyone else on this thread for your kind thoughts and support. You've all made a tough time a little bit easier.
With regard to the radio therapy, my dad did go ahead with a short burst to help the pain about 3 weeks before he died. The radio therapy itself wasn't painful for him and he didn't have many side effects. The drs all encouraged him to do it as well. I guess the problem is with the bone cancer (which my dad also had) is that there are very few pain killers that really help it. Whether it really helped with the pain or not is hard to say, as I am not sure he lived long enough after it to really get a benefit. However, because it was not too hard to get him into the hospital to do it (even though he was on crutches, but he took lots of pain killers before hand) it was probably worth it, as perhaps it would have been worse for him at the end without it. I think you have to make the call based on how much your mum will have to go through to get the radiotherapy, if it's too much for her, then they can try other painkillers to control the pain later, and use sedatives so she does not feel it.
I am so sorry to hear that they are moving your mum from the hospice. That seems so unfair... I hope that they have made better arrangements for her now and that all is ok? You are doing great by spending so much time with your mum and it must be hard for you to have to travel so much and be apart from your family.
Take care, I am thinking of you,
Rosie
PS. I will send you a short message privately so that you can reply to me if you have any more questions.
Hello Everyone
Im away now for a few weeks with the family,so I send my sincere best wishes to you and yours and hope you are all OK.
Catch up on return.
love Will
Thank you so much for taking the time to compose such a detailed entry.
My husband was recently diagnosed with bowel cancer, has just had Hartmann's Procedure (and coming to terms with that, and looking forward to return to work in a month or so! : P)
Saw Oncologist a few days ago, to be told that spread to liver is extensive (non-operable) so we're starting chemo next week, for 16 weeks, to see if surgery will then be possible. My darling hubby prefers to deal with the 'here & now', while I have a rather more Gestalt approach... NEED to know details, do research, know possibilities, be prepared for everything. he, in turn, likes me to dripfeed him with info when he's got queries or worries.
Your post has helped me a lot for the battle ahead; to 'gird my loins', if you like.
Thank you, Jess. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Hi Melissa, it's been a year since I wrote that post and my father died, from the replies I've received since I can say that whilst jaundice is a recurring symptom toward the end, everyone's end is different and most PEACEFUL. Without being an oncologist and having scan results in my hand I can't tell you if it is the end. I would like to strongly advise you to be with your husband when they give him that ultrasound result, which would assess how much liver function your husband has left. I know most oncologists are sensitive to their patient's approach to their prognosis (eg. my father's onc understood that my dad just wasn't interested in prognosis and never ever wanted a discussion about how long he had left, he was a fighter, didn't want to die and was interested in treatment and prolonging his life, death was not on his agenda). However, when my father was admitted to hospital when his jaundice had first started to set in (about two weeks in) to evaluate the drugs he was on ( the warfarin and steroids he was were not balanced properly and they coildn't get a reliable INS to rectify it). It didn't seem like a huge deal at the time even though deep down we knew the cancer was terminal, we thought there were months left..possibly a year. Well the doctors in the hospital did an ultrasound, this was a general ward not oncology department and early in the morning before visiting hours the doctor insensitively delivered my father's ultra sound result to him, basically telling him the liver damage was critical and that there WAS NOTHING left to do to delay it. Well I saw a big change in my dad's personality after that, he was never depressed but he became quieter and introverted and I'd often catch him looking at me as I read a book or watched TV. HE knew dying was imminent. He died about two weeks later, the jaundice got progressively worse, he had a night of disorientation and inability to sleep, was admitted to an acute care ward as it was a weekend and died within 4 days of being 'bedridden' arriving at hospital drinking and eating and talking... 2 days later having lost these abilities. There's a chance your husband may need a stent to correct a blocked bile duct. Or even if it is bad news and liver failure, the right balance of steroids and other drugs may be able to significantly delay the onset and symptoms. I know my dad had issues with blood clotting and warfrin so it made getting the balance of the drugs to handle the symptoms pretty difficult I think. Don't be scared, liver failure leads to coma like state most of the time, like going to sleep, and if the support of the nurses are there to administer pain relief and anti anxiety drugs I think it can be a very peaceful death. Preparation is key though, and yes it an happen quickly from my personal experience. Be aware that admittance to hospitals at weekends can lead to acute care wards, if your husband is admitted during the week he may go to a hospice and they're so much better equipped and are better at getting patients home to be cared for in the comfort of their homes. So if possible, call your GP with any niggles on a weekday..rather than weekend. I know life doesn't work like that but I wish my father was in a hospice, rather than a busy poorly managed acute care ward. My dad never had any real symptoms and during the last 4 weeks of his life I asked him if he was in pain every morning and he always said no, although he did take some of those tramadil pills and often fell asleep almost mid conversation. I think he had a mild to moderate pain in his side, I remember asking if it was like a stitch and him replying "not quite", The only time he really had pain was right at the start when they discovered a big tumour and in the midst of chemo when he had a blood clot on his lungs. Best of luck for Friday, if it's bad news then I'd assess your living situation immediately if you want to care for him at home...maybe do that on the sly so your husband doesn't realize. I wish I could help in person, I'm volunteering in the cancer department at my local NY hospital and applying to Columbia University to be a nurse specializing in palliative care next year, I can't wait to help make this process easier for others. BEST OF LUCK I'll say a prayer for your husband Melissa, may he have longer with you :)
Hi Melissa
I hope you are hanging in there ahead of your appt tomorrow. My dad passed August 1 from this disease and from my experiences I second everything that Jess said. Being prepared is important and Jess has a good list of things you might need and should keep in mind in an earlier post.
My dad was only bedridden for the last few days of his life and was kept sedated and peaceful for most of that time, thanks to the support of the District Nurses and the Macmillan Hospice at Home support that we were lucky to have locally (we were able to keep him at home, with me and my brothers there to support my mum).
If you have any other questions as you go through this difficult time, don't hesitate to reach out on this thread--we'll be here for you.
Sending much love and best wishes to you and your husband,
Rosie
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