Feeling extremely low

Hi Meg! Thank you for your message. Boy oh boy this situation throws up so many issues for people! Poor you not being able to have anything sweet! It sounds like me! Ha ha! And te your good news day today! That is utterly fantastic! Congratulations I am really happy for you! Xx I am waiting further blood results so hopefully will know more by Friday! Celebrate my lovely you deserve it! Hugs. Jackie xx

JCPH said:

Boy oh boy this situation throws up so many issues for people!

Recovery is a long haul. Once you get your head round that it's easier. 

I've had a few dental problems as a result of the RT. I have lost high end hearing in the ear on the affected side and have been waiting a year for an audiology appointment (I have a private report but can't afford 4K for aids).

I had a blocked infected parotid duct in the first year. Imagine losing the only functioning large salivary gland!!!!!

I had a pelvic hip MRI for pain ( think mets) and a gastroscopy for constant reflux.

It all does your head in but it's done and I'm OK...more than ok 

Flip Dani! What can I say other than you aee amazing to have gone through all of that and come out the other side! You are right regarding getting your head around things  I am still Trying to do that! I am so glad you are ok. Hugs  x

Feeling low is nothing to be ashamed of. The hardest part is admitting it.  Reactive depression is curable and if your Gp suggests anti depressants don’t be frightened. They really do work as does acknowledging what you have been through. If you want to talk I am happy to and I have found then very helpful. All the very best.  

Elaineyb said:

 Reactive depression is curable and if your Gp suggests anti depressants don’t be frightened. They really do work as does acknowledging what you have been through.

Sound advice. I always counsel people that whatever they feel is right for them. The medics fight the cancer. We fight to stay sane. 
A useful piece is this one. 
It explains very well how we feel and recover from cancer 

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Hi Jackie.

sorry didn’t see your question we’ve just been on a side trip,to Granada for hubbys 66 th yeah he’s a pensioner I’m  by my nature a positive glass half full person. Like everyone else I was petrified when I got diagnosed thought life as we knew it was  over and I wouldn't be alive to see our grandson grow up. I did he’s niw 14 plus we’ve via our son in law kids got 7 gt grandkids. 

Once I saw my oncologist who said he was looking to cure me my mindset kicked in and I thought right him and his team were doing what they could so my mindset kicked back in and I thought this bugger wasn’t going to rob me of my life. 

I booked flights to,our apartment ( we do long  term rent) for 8 weeks after treatment and it was hard but once again it was hubbys 60 th and I did it. 
I have certain issues  I can’t eat spicy or curry and have no tolerance for alchol my mouths quite delicate but I’m living a fab life and long may it continue. I have dry mouth but I manage it  never thought I woukd see the day that I wasn’t constantly drinking water but now I’m ok for a few hours at a time. I have a small bit of fibrosis which I exercise daily on my heavily radiated side. But I’ve walked 40 km this week and regularly cycle 40-50 km a day. 

My oncologist also said he would take a year of my life which he did in many ways but I remained positive throughout . But as my friend Dani says she was misersble  and still got cured. 
all you can do it take everything  one  day at a time. Many people with head and neck cancer do end up on mild anti depressants maybe see your GP I didn’t but again that’s me. Plus react the article Dani posted. It helped me he was a consultant at my cancer centre. I also gave copies to famiky and friends. 

Hugs Hazel x

Hi Hazel thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it. I before this journey was a pretty positive fun loving person. The treatment Like with many others maybe I was completely in the wars. Today I took a big step and actually spoke to someone at the hospital. They reckon the core of my low mood could be my stay in hospital! I was looking out for four ladies on the ward who were end of life. I after treatment visited a friend I had made who has not been as fortunate as me she was on the exact ward and bed that I was in. I looked around and all the ladies on the ward were different. It hit me like a bolt of lightening that the ladies I had spent my time with would have passed away. It left me feeling guilty and sad. Sorry to blurt! It all came flooding out today. I am like you and your lovely friend Dani trying to support others on here who are earlier on their journey. I am really grateful for yours and Dani's support it has been invaluable. Showing there is life after this train we all find ourselves on. Thank you! Jackie xx

Hi Jackie. No problem I’ve been on here since diagnosis and yes we’ve sadly lost a few who have become friends. But as my motto goes one life just live it and the ones we’ve lost would want us to do the same. 
Try to get some hell and you’ll get yourself back on track. 
hugs Hazel x

JCPH said:

It hit me like a bolt of lightening that the ladies I had spent my time with would have passed away

It's something I never ever considered but what happened to me when I went into hospital really kicked my self pity away and it was a salutary lesson.

I was admitted to get rehydrated, have my analgesia sorted and have my NG tube put in. I was in a ward with four other ladies. One had incurable but treatable lung cancer, and had to listen to her consultant inform her how badly her tumours had progressed.

Another with some sort of advanced cancer had such a bad time trying to get into the CT scanner they gave up and she cried her heart out all night.

A young lady with a young family was admitted in the middle of the night in chemo induced neutropenic sepsis. She said the nurses in A&E ran a book on the highest temperature somebody had. She joked about it. She disappeared ti ITU to be replace  by a lady who had been taken off a cruise trip and was accompanied by a medical team for the transfer. She was told that as a result of her cancer she would never walk  again.

With a guilt so profound I can still recall it I thought, "Shit! all I have is a sore throat and I'm going to live!"

I haven't wasted a second on guilt or self pity since then

JCPH said:

I am really grateful for yours and Dani's support it has been invaluable.

We've walked the walk you are walking. Others before us did what we do. It's a privilege  to have your trust Jackie. It's all we need. The joy we have in watching our fledgelings fly is immeasurable